True love

What is true love?

A definition of love that has something of "scientific" is that of Erich Fromm, a historical German psychologist and academic: "Love is an active power of man, a power that cancels the walls that separate him from his peers, that leads to overcoming the sense of isolation and separation - and yet allows him to be himself and maintain his integrity. It seems like a paradox, but in love two beings become one, yet they remain two." True love in psychology and medicine is also a chemical event caused by physical and hormonal dynamics, but also a psychological phenomenon influenced by the historical context in which we live. There are also those who say that true love doesn't exist because it's just "a chemical illusion of the brain", but it's just a (cynical?) interpretation of those chemical signals I was talking about before.

In short, what is true love in simple terms and how to understand when you are in love? Experts describe it (in a nutshell) as a disinterested, very strong, unconditional feeling, made up of support, harmony and the desire to build a future together. 

There is a feeling, the harmony is top, the moments together are always very beautiful, you talk for hours and miss each other when you can't hear each other... but the doubt arises spontaneously: how to understand if it's true love or if it's just a crush?

How do you tell if it's a crush, or love? 

The signals

There are signs of love, aka those details that reveal to you if what you feel is much more than simple infatuation and which manifest themselves when you love a person. These are the 13 signs to watch out for to understand if it is true love:

1) Almost can't look each other in the eyes due to the intensity of the emotions that exchange of glances triggers in you.

2) Make sacrifices for each other without them burdening you in the slightest. In fact, you would do anything for her. You are not interested in pleasing each other, but simply in making each other happy, in knowing that you are both well.

3) You argue, and argue maybe even about small details, but there is no anger and the idea of not talking to each other makes you feel bad.

4) You know that she could never, ever hurt you and you, in turn, would never do anything to hurt her.

5) You act as a real team, you tell each other everything - joys and sorrows, but also (oops!) mistakes and pranks - you are accomplices and make the first plans for the future together.

6) You make promises to each other and do everything to keep them, because you care about mutual trust today and always.

7) You don't feel envious of the successes she achieves, she doesn't envy yours, on the contrary: you support each other to the end in every undertaking. Jealousy has the right space (very little bulk) in your relationship.

8) Each of you can grow as a person, you have your own free space, you have your own time, but you both know that this does not diminish you as a couple. On the contrary.

9) You care what she thinks of you, she cares what you think of her, you know how to exchange points of view, always evaluate each other's opinion when it comes to making decisions. You know what hurts her and you take it into account, so does she. Always find an agreement - even when you think differently.

10) You *absolutely* cannot desire other people, even when traveling with your imagination.

11) You are always at ease with your partner, no matter what happens around you and what others say. You are solid.

12) You help each other resolve your insecurities, you give each other courage, you always root for each other.

13) Put your needs as a couple above everything else, whether more or less frivolous.

Is love at first sight love?

How to understand if you are in love

Are love and love at first sight the same thing? Hold on tight because science has clarified the matter: research entitled The Neuroimaging of Love conducted in 2018 by the American University of Syracuse has shown that love at first sight exists and can be true love. In fact, it only takes a fifth of a second for the brain to feel love towards a person. The sensation starts from the head - in which as many as 12 areas are activated that release pleasure and activation hormones such as adrenaline, oxytocin and dopamine - and then reaches the heart. When do you know you love someone? Sometimes after years of knowing her, in a slow process where you notice everything you like about her, sometimes it's a matter of one look and that's it.

This is how true love manifests itself, in a few simple points that are very effective in guiding you to understand what you really feel.

Women

Oh, women. Women are all the same so following a certain purely feminine logic, one should be as good as the other... but no, each one is different, each has something that differentiates them from the other.

For me, a woman must be a woman, ok it's banal to say that but it's reality. 

But he will not enjoy special rights, in addition to having to contribute to the family's wealth with his work, entrepreneurial activity or anything else that gives security to the family, he will have to help the woman carry out the household chores, perhaps even repair that leaky tap, the lock that doesn't close well, tidy up the house and clean the floor and who knows more but with the awareness of being part of the family and not the leader, in the family no one prevails over the other, we are all useful for the same purpose, the important thing is to love each other.

She must be affectionate but she also likes to be told that she is beautiful, preferably numerous times a day.

It's not important that she is a good cook, nowadays with internet and YouTube you can learn almost anything, so much so that you don't go and cook in a starred restaurant, your family is satisfied and I have a good mouth, I eat practically almost all.

I prefer women to be sensitive, affectionate, wise, thoughtful, jealous to the right degree but without exaggeration, Vietnamese because they are the best women in the world, kind even under the sheets, who takes care of me, who makes me feel her love for me even if she doesn't tell me openly. And the others? Let's leave the others to other men.