How to plan the future in
a relationship just like that through a program that promises to be interesting
for you? At any time in life it is easy to feel lost when you have no stable
future plans. Having a goal in mind will help us realize an idea and achieve
the goal: living together and in peace, cheerfully, without problems, arguing
as little as possible, and enjoying life.
So planning for the future
is also crucial to maintaining the stability of a future relationship.
Thinking back to when we
started dating, perhaps without realizing it, we regularly included each other
in our plans. By talking and discussing those future close-ups together, no
matter how big or small, a bond was created. There is no reason for this bond
to stop developing, and producing plans is a consistent way to maintain a
romantic relationship. Planning our future as a couple will have a domino
effect on other aspects of our relationship. It would be helpful to discuss our
future as a couple and recognize we both want to be together (because that is).
In turn, this can provide a sense of trust in the relationship because it would
demonstrate we are both committed to being together in the future.
With a feeling of mutual
support, we can increase levels of intimacy as we would feel part of a caring
and loving team. What quality of life do you want? The first step in planning future
is recognizing what each of us individually wants from life. I am looking for a
partner capable of making me happy.
Happiness for me is
knowing I am not alone, I do not have to face in solitude everything that life
puts before me and I can continue to live seeking the best of myself to give it
to those who appreciate me as I am.
What aspects of life do
you enjoy? What would you like to experience most? Would you like the
opportunity to try something new? Visiting the world beyond the borders of
Asia?
Life is constantly
changing and plans cannot always remain the same. However, keeping each other
updated on how you feel and our future wishes increases both of our
communication levels. It is this recognition and inclusion that helps maintain
a happy relationship.
Starting to organize and
prioritize a list of goals will help create an achievable life plan. Will there
be compromises must be willing to accept if necessary? I have an idea, I don't
know what you are willing to sacrifice to live in harmony. We must also be able
to help each other realize our life ambitions, highlight your ideas and mine,
and turn any challenges into solutions. But by doing it together, you will
uplift each other through the feeling of support and encourage a positive
attitude.
A couple who talks and
smiles, thinks both short and long term. Discussing larger goals in life is
essential. However, the smaller, intermediate plans should not be overlooked.
As they say, are the little things that count in life, and much of our
happiness comes from these little encounters and fond memories.
Let's talk about important
aspects. Living together involves some sacrifices on both sides, not everything
works as one would like. Let's start with the essential aspects:
What
are my priorities?
It might seem difficult
but in reality it isn't, or at least not that much. I am 70 years old, my
priorities are linked to the desire to live as long as possible, without
stress, without particular problems. Unfortunately my past has not always been
very fortunate, what I have been able to have I obtained with my work, with a
little luck and with some right knowledge.
To work well, a relationship must be based on these characteristics:
1. Health and well-being:
Health is true wealth. Without it, nothing else matters.
2. Relationships: I am
currently a busy single and I aspire to a relationship with Anna Ly, there is a
way to improve this relationship, but it involves sacrifice and availability on
her part too.
3. Career: I am quite
satisfied with my career, it still needs to be implemented because the
environment I find myself in is not as receptive as Europe or North American
countries. I am an entrepreneur, planning is a prerequisite for business
success.
4. Community: For a long
and healthy life it is important to be part of a community. Loneliness is as
harmful to your health as smoking.
Being motivated despite
life's challenges is not easy, but it is possible. Small daily actions add up
to significant changes over time. Planning for my future life can help me
continue to put one foot in front of the other until I reach my goals. Hoping
they are hers too.
Where
to live.
The idea is to buy an apartment in District 1, not huge but functional, with maximum 3 bedrooms. Living under the same roof, sometime, implies some choices, one of which, even though we are both free (single), could lead to having to regularize our condition with a marriage. Not mandatory, but useful for both, I consider it an appreciable possibility. A foreigner can buy an apartment and own it for 50 years, I won't live that long, but if you are my wife it could become yours even before the next 50 years. In addition, as my wife, you can gain the Italian passport, a real passe-partout in the whole world, and once acquired it is yours forever, even if we divorce, even if your spouse dies. Think about it.
To get it you need to know Italian at B1 level (the minimum), try taking the
test here: https://www.europassitalian.com/italian-test/b1-level/
Work
or activity
Of course you have the
right to have your own job, activity, time to dedicate, trying to respect the
common needs of presence. So you can do the activity you want and not be
involved in my activities although you can participate if you want, no
constraints or obligations.
For the common ones, let's
forget about the coffee shop project, it's not worth it, there are too many of
them in Saigon and not all of them make their owners' dreams come true. But I
would also like a business because an Italian friend who is a "chef de
cuisine" would be willing to work with me. I thought of a sandwich shop,
in HCM there is only one western style sandwich shop (a friend know one of the managers),
they have a turnover of around 100 million dong a day, they sell mainly Italian
and European style sandwiches (but not only sandwiches), they sell sandwiches
to take away, or ordered and delivered to home through Grab. They work well. It
can be replicated but thinking of a business clientele, a room with a maximum
of 100 m2 of commercial surface, plus kitchen and storage spaces and
refrigerators. Mc Donalds style organization (but only as a distribution and
payment organization). The Chef friend would
obviously take care of the kitchen part, I would take care of the procurement
and financial issues of the business and you would be fine as Director, you
decide. I would like to give you all the free time you want, no obligations but
healthy and shared mutual assistance. Expected investment approximately 6B VND
including rent, salaries, equipment, consumables and food.
This is the competitor: https://breadandbutterhcm.com/
Means
of transport
I would like to buy a car so
you can drive it too, that is also useful for my business and work, but also
for the family, for getting around the city and going on trips to the seaside
or in the mountains.
For the car I would like
an eco-friendly one, but at the moment in Vietnam the only electric one sold is
the Vinfast, it's cheap. But it is not up to the standard of other foreign
models, later can be considered a foreign brand, Tesla started to be sold in
Vietnam in 2023.
Before to drive a car you
need a driving licence. My driving license expires in June 2025, I will be able
to renew it every two years (at my age this is permitted in Italy). It would be
useful if you had a driving license, I can do some general driving schooling
for you, when the car arrives, just to understand how it works, then a
Vietnamese driving school will be necessary to learn the theory and driving
rules in Vietnam.
But if someone as handicapped as my ex-wife
has learned to drive, it will be very easy for you, like a walk in the woods.
Travel and Adventures
I have seen practically
the whole world, there are few countries where I have never been, but the world
does not stand still waiting for us, the world turns and changes continuously.
And just as the Europe I know is no longer the same as it was 10 years ago, the
same can be said of Australia, the United States of America, even Africa and
much more. I would like to travel often, to see in a different light all those
places that stimulated my life and thirst for adventure when I was younger, and
I would like to do it with you. Absolutely not to be missed are Italy, France, Denmark,
Spain, Great Britain, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, United States and
Canada, and many others, but it will take two annual holidays to see them all.
Traveling and discovering is life, it is knowledge, it is the pleasure of
meeting other people and interacting with them to improve our lives to enjoy
independence and a little reasonable madness.
Leisure
Your request scared me a
little, because it leads to considering a virtual union and not a real one, in
fact maintaining a life status such as to think of depending on someone else. I
find a relationship like this very conflicting. I am looking for a person who
is capable of living with me most of the time, a free bond but based on mutual honestly,
respect and loyalty.
Our union must be based on
the joy of living and happiness, if there are problems we discuss them, and the
rough edges are resolved, no long faces, no moaning. An open
relationship, with full availability to dialogue and resolve problems
immediately when they arise.
It may seem strange but
paradoxically every human being needs to recover their own spaces, manage and
protect them, as well as learn to respect the vital spaces of others, in a
word, leave their spaces to their partner. It's not just about physical spaces,
closets, rooms or existing spaces in our homes. This is an important
psychological space, vital spaces of the couple that must be perceived,
protected and respected. I mean everyone's living spaces like these, trying to
respect each other's needs. If there is a willingness to accept these, let's
talk about it, you will find me agree:
Hobbies, religious
beliefs, socialization, family of origin, friends, sport, study. Dedicating a
few days a week to your space needs is legitimate, but without exaggerations and
limitations, without forgetting the need to be together, united we are stronger.
Bonds
and mutual assistance
There are written and
unwritten rules governing being together for a couple. As mentioned at the
beginning of this life plan, we can be a legal couple (married) or not
(cohabiting even temporarily) but we decide this jointly, by mutual agreement
and on an equal basis, on issues relating to possible marriage, cohabitation,
passports and family relationships. The relationship between us must be based
on mutual respect, assistance and the fair distribution of responsibilities. In
case we will also have the right to independently resolve matters relating to
our personal interests. Mutual assistance is taking care of the other person in
case of need (illness, accidents, bereavement) and applies to all family
members.
Kids and Parents
Bo is a priority, this
year he should finish primary school (if I remember correctly) and start
secondary school, perhaps it would be a good idea to have him attend an
international school, where he can better prepare for the future. Vietnamese
schools are not excellent, we know this, but to have more chances you must
learn English well, otherwise it is difficult. I wish Bo had the best to study,
his future is created by attending a better school.
Matthia doesn't want to
return to Vietnam, he will follow his path in France, but if he decides
differently, there will always be a place for him. I don't know your father,
I've only seen him in some of your photographs, I don't know how he feels since
he was left alone after your mom passed away. There will always be a place for
him. But it depends on you and him.
Funds
and Budget
The life of a couple, real
or virtual, must be based mainly on sincerity and honesty.
Giving is connected to
having and both will be reciprocal, I didn't go into the details of possible
coexistence, I didn't talk about needs because for the majority of people who
share large spaces and common visions, both of them already know how to
organize their lives.
But life isn't just about
sharing time. We will certainly open a bank account in a foreign bank in
Vietnam in common (HSBC or SCB), because the management of resources must be
common, but it is my intention to dedicate funds to you, which will be yours and
you can use them as you wish and this regardless of any funds from your work or
business for which you decide how to use them.
I don't indicate a precise
figure, I had thought something around 100 million per month, but it is only an
indicative figure, everything is connected to the availability and the exchange
between partners.
The budget is certainly
linked to work. In short, there are many opportunities available.
The spending budget is
amply covered.
The
final Chapter
There is still a lot left
to say. Naturally it is a challenge and from this arises the need to know your
expectations. Because otherwise it will always be too little or not enough if
you still don't intend to accept my proposal.
I'm sincere, this is what
I can offer you. I already know you and I know that I can trust you, in the end
everything will be yours too, and no one takes away from themselves what they
already have even if it comes from their partner.
I don't like paying a
salary, it sounds like a sugar daddy, the ex didn't take a salary, she took
what she needed for her own needs day by day, she had her own debit/credit card
in the joint bank account which she used as best she could she believed, had
and still has, because the other joint bank account was closed, her own bank
account where only she could access, with a credit card and without too many
limits, the limit was decency and the awareness of not putting the family is in
crisis with crazy and useless expenses.
In a couple, love is not
everything. Respect and trust are essential to find and maintain the balance
between the couple's needs and personal goals for a long time. These two values
are the basis of good relationships, even as a couple, and they make the
difference. Like love, trust must be built and cultivated over time. When trust
is lacking, in fact, whatever the other person does or thinks, doubt will
always be before our eyes, clouding our vision. To build it, you start by
sharing values as a couple, learning to avoid attitudes or gestures that could
hurt the other. It takes a little time, a lot of attention and listening to
your partner's needs and vice versa, to test compatibility, find a balance and
maintain it in the various life circumstances that we will experience together.
Trust, sometimes, is lost due to some negative experience, in which case it is
very important to be honest and address the topic without making it too steep
and impossible to overcome. When trust is lacking, is not shared or is not
strong enough, it will take very little to have doubts or not to believe the
words or gestures of the person we have at our side. Anything, even
minimal, will destroy that stability and tranquility necessary for the
well-being of a couple.
Fundamentals
Finally, if we really
wanted to identify the components of a healthy relationship, I would say that
the following characteristics are essential for building a balanced, satisfying
and long-lasting relationship:
1) Respect. Each person must be welcomed
as they are, appreciated in their entirety and uniqueness;
2) Trust. A couple in which there is
trust is balanced, knows no control mechanisms and has complete freedom with
rules established by mutual agreement;
3) Honesty. It is a fundamental pillar
towards ourselves and our partner;
4) Sincerity understood as the
self-critical ability to respect one's own desires, aspirations and needs
without damaging the needs of the partner;
5) Support. A couple is almost a team in
which they support each other and encourage mutual personal growth;
6) Equity. In every couple there is
balance, respect, mutual exchange and sharing of joys and burdens;
7) Recognition of individuality. The
partner, just as we are, is an individual with his own personality and
uniqueness, characteristics to be protected and recognized;
8) Communication. It will never be
enough, I want to underline the fundamental role of good communication and
constructive dialogue within a couple. Suffice it to say that in his
absence, there is no relationship that can last.
I
chose you as my partner 14 months ago, you represent added value to my life and
our journey. I wish you and I can stay together to share a long journey as a
couple, I hope for the next 30 years.
Sergio,
Wednesday, January 3, 2024