The best woman of your life

It seems simple, many think it's enough to show off their attributes, or be romantic, or appear intelligent and cultured, or simply show off their wallet to secure the best woman (here I'm only talking about women) available and everything works wonderfully. 

But no, it's not all that simple. There are limits that must be analyzed and discovered and given the right weight, nothing is easy, but if we are good then it will be forever. Never fool yourself. The variables are infinite and you always have to "stay on track" to maintain success.

1. Date someone who pays attention to you. Someone who looks you in the eyes when you speak instead of down at his phone. Someone who messages you first and grabs your hand during dates. Someone who remembers the little things about you because he actually gives a damn.

2. Date someone who goes out of his way for you. Someone who is willing to drive you miles just to eat at your favorite restaurant. Someone who will spend hours searching for the perfect present for you instead of choosing the first thing he sees. Someone who reschedules his entire week if it means he will get to see you for an extra hour.

3. Date someone who commits to you. Someone who deletes his Tinder account after your first date even online. Someone who deletes exes from his contact list because he doesn’t need them as booty calls anymore (as I did). Someone who talks about you all of the time with friends so there is no way anyone assumes he is single.

4. Date someone who encourages you to embrace who you really are inside. Someone who never mentions how you would look better with a different haircut or ten pounds lighter. Someone who tells you to wear what you are most comfortable wearing. Someone who likes you just the way you are and never pushes you to change.

5. Date someone who has fun when they are with you. Someone who laughs at your jokes, even when they are completely stupid. Someone who banters back and forth with you, even when you should have run out of things to say by now. Someone who can make you crack a smile, even when you are on the verge of breaking down in tears.

6. Date someone who takes care of you. Someone who will warm up soup for you when you have a cold. Someone who will clean up your messes when you’re drunk. Someone who will make sure you get home safe before falling asleep at night.

7. Date someone who handles conflict with maturity. Someone who lets you know when he is annoyed with you instead of bottling everything up inside. Someone who treats you with respect, even when he is struggling not to scream at you. Someone who is willing to make compromises when you can’t see eye-to-eye.

8. Date someone who is proud to be seen with you. Someone who introduces you to his parents, cousins, and grandparents. Someone who keeps a picture of you on his phone screen. Someone who rests a hand on your waist every time you leave the house, so that the world knows you are together.

9. Date someone who puts in constant effort. Someone who plans dates every once in a while so that you don’t have to lift a finger. Someone who knows how to cook and helps out with the cleaning. Someone who goes down on you so he isn’t the only one enjoying your sex life.

10. Date someone who is vulnerable in front of you. Someone who isn’t scared of his own feelings. Someone who is comfortable letting you watch him cry. Someone who never holds back around you, because he trusts you, because he feels safe around you.

11. Date someone who compliments you. Someone who makes you feel sexy, even when you are wearing jeans and a hoodie. Someone who looks at you like you are the most beautiful girl in any room. Someone who can’t keep his hands off of you.

12. Date someone who gets you excited about the future. Someone you are eager to live with. Someone you can’t wait to marry. Someone you are expecting to spend a lifetime alongside.

13. Date someone who loves you. Someone who feels as strongly about you as you feel about him. Someone who doesn’t want to live life without you. Someone who considers you his forever.

Quale bevanda è la più bevuta nel mondo dopo l'acqua?

La risposta più ovvia sarebbe il tè, complice anche la preparazione semplice e che non richiede tecniche troppo complicate. Tuttavia i dati sono discordanti, il tè viene bevuto da molte popolazioni ma non da tutti, è praticamente sconosciuto in molte regioni africane, non viene consumato in intere nazioni per ragioni culturali.

Invece, con circa 2,5 miliardi di tazze consumate ogni giorno a livello globale, il caffè pur essendo la terza bevanda più bevuta al mondo, è consumato globalmente, dopo l’acqua e prima del tè. Irrinunciabile per gli italiani, che per quasi il 95% lo bevono abitualmente, con una spesa media annua pro-capite di 260 euro, in cui trovano spazio il consumo domestico (92%) e quello al bar (72%). Ma il caffè non è soltanto una bevanda. Fin dal suo apparire in Europa, tra ‘600 e ‘700, il gusto aromatico e intenso del caffè si è da subito intrecciato con il piacere della conversazione e dell’incontro, con la nascita, sulla scorta della tradizione turca, di Botteghe frequentate da persone di classi sociali anche diverse.

Un piacere personale, un rito sociale e un gesto di benessere. Un’abitudine irrinunciabile che accompagna le nostre giornate.

Il caffè espresso continua a evocare nell’immaginario dei consumatori momenti di relax (53%), un piacere (47%), e al contempo un rito sociale e una tradizione (37%). Ed è un dato riconducibile all’esperienza di ciascuno che davanti a una tazzina di caffè si possano delineare accordi, soluzioni e nuove prospettive, molto più spesso che non in situazioni più codificate e formali.

Il caffè rappresenta una delle primarie fonti di ricchezza per i Paesi che lo coltivano, tutti compresi in quella fascia tropicale equatoriale chiamata Coffee belt (cintura del caffè). Racchiusa tra il Tropico del Cancro e il Tropico del Capricorno, ne fanno parte Paesi come Brasile, Vietnam, Etiopia, Guatemala, Colombia, Costarica, Salvador, Perù, Messico, Galapagos, India, Giamaica, Kenya, Papua Nuova Guinea, Portorico, Indonesia, Panama, Cuba, Honduras, Nicaragua, S. Elena, Tanzania, India, Uganda e Giava. Nel complesso sono più di 200 milioni le persone che traggono sostentamento dalla coltivazione, lavorazione e distribuzione del caffè.

Il primo paese esportatore è il Brasile, il secondo il Vietnam, il terzo è la Colombia (anche se l'immaginario collettivo pensava fosse il primo o quantomeno il secondo), a calare poi tutti gli altri. I caffè di qualità migliore sono quelli del Vietnam, a seguire il caffè della Colombia, il Brasile si piazza in quarta posizione dopo l'Ethiopia. I caffè di produzione africana (esclusa l'Ethiopia) sono in genere di minore qualità dato il clima maggiormente caldo, le piante di caffè prediligono un clima meno caldo, per questo vengono coltivate per lo più da 600 mslm in su.

Non mancano le criticità, legate soprattutto alla tutela dei diritti dei lavoratori, spesso donne e spesso sottopagate, e a pratiche agronomiche che mettono a rischio l’ambiente e le risorse naturali, soprattutto idriche. La crisi climatica, la carenza di acqua e la tutela della biodiversità e fertilità dei suoli, minacciati dalle monocolture intensive e da metodi di coltivazione troppo aggressivi, sono fattori che rappresentano altrettante sfide cruciali per l’intero mondo del caffè, a cui le aziende più avvertite e sensibili stanno rispondendo con la garanzia di una tracciabilità certificata sul piano della sostenibilità ambientale e sociale della produzione, oltre che della qualità.

Esistono diversi tipi di caffè, ma due sono le varietà principali: quella Arabica, detta anche caffè di montagna, più delicata e aromatica, e quella Robusta, più corposa e dalla resa produttiva maggiore. Tranne i pregiati 100% Arabica, il mercato offre soprattutto miscele tra le due varietà in proporzioni variabili per raggiungere differenti risultati di corpo e gusto.

Ma soprattutto un caffè deve essere di buona qualità, sia perché così costituisce un’esperienza gratificante del palato sia perché, se consumato nella giusta quantità, può diventare una fonte di benessere. All’elevata qualità della miscela utilizzata per prepararlo corrisponde, infatti, una minore quantità di caffeina, dell’ordine anche del 60% di meno nell’Arabica rispetto alla varietà Robusta.

Per esplicare i suoi benefici per l’organismo, la caffeina non deve superare in media i 400 milligrammi al giorno (in una tazzina di espresso ne troviamo dai 50 ai 70 mg, in una di caffè moka fino a 120). In questo modo, il suo effetto sarà stimolante, tonico, energetico, digestivo e saziante. In quantità eccessiva, invece, potrebbe provocare bruciore di stomaco, ipertensione, insonnia, o interferire con l’assorbimento di ferro dagli alimenti.

E circa la controversa questione dello zucchero nel caffè? Una risposta definitiva è difficile da dare. Innanzitutto, nel caffè c’è già una piccola quota di zucchero, ed è proprio questa che “caramellandosi” durante la tostatura conferisce il caratteristico colore bruno al chicco. Sta alla bravura del mastro torrefattore individuare la temperatura in cui il caffè può rivelare tutta la sua ricchezza e la dolcezza aromatica. “Perché, quella, poi, è la cosa più difficile: indovinare il punto giusto di cottura, il colore a manto di monaco. Color manto di monaco”, dice Eduardo de Filippo, nel famoso monologo sul caffè della commedia "Questi fantasmi".

Se la scelta di zuccherare il caffè corrisponde al gusto personale, il consiglio è quello di riservarsi sempre la possibilità di assaggiarne un sorso senza zucchero. Un modo per imparare a cogliere il profilo sensoriale più autentico del caffè che si gusta.

L'Europa è una dittatura a fin di bene (di Andrea Lombardi)

Da qualche tempo a questa parte nell’Unione Europa è entrata in vigore una dettagliata legge che regolamenta (ma soprattutto distrugge) il funzionamento dei servizi digitali come social network e motori di ricerca.

Solo gli addetti ai lavori ne sono al corrente, poiché non c'è stata discussione attorno al tema né durante la fase di progettazione e proposta, né a ridosso dell'entrata in vigore.

I giornali e le televisioni hanno criminalmente ignorato questo regolamento liberticida, salvo pochi casi (e ancor meno per esporne i pericoli), e da agosto 2023 è pienamente operativo.

Il DSA, così si chiama (Digital Services Act), sta già facendo sentire i suoi effetti, come testimonia la recente lettera inviata dalla Commissione Europea a Elon Musk, nella quale si intima di cancellare da Twitter i contenuti che l’Europa ritiene insidacabilmente "dannosi" in merito alla guerra tra Israele e Hamas.

Per chi se lo fosse perso, sì, è successo. La Commissione Europea ha formalmente diffidato Twitter/X dal rimuovere dalla sua piattaforma tutto ciò che lei ritiene (a suo esclusivo giudizio) essere “disinformazione” o “contenuto dannoso” in merito alla guerra in Israele.

Cosa venga classificato come “disinformazione” non è nostro diritto saperlo, perché siamo sudditi e non cittadini.

E il regolamento europeo sui servizi digitali non prevede che i sudditi debbano essere informati su cosa viene ritenuto disinformazione e su quali siano i criteri per di volta in volta stabilire cosa rientri in questa definizione.

La classificazione dei contenuti come legittimi o disinformanti spetta ai cortigiani e avviene nelle segrete stanze del palazzo, e certamente non bisogna renderne conto ai villici, che d’altra parte sono trattati poco sopra il rango di scimmie, e per questa ragione vanno protetti dai contenuti “dannosi”.

Il popolino non deve entrare in contatto con questo tipo di contenuto, neppure con i criteri che astrattamente lo definiscono tale, altrimenti ne verrebbe influenzato, ed è quindi per il suo bene che non gli va neppure spiegato che cosa è la “disinformazione”.

Perché, che ci crediate o meno il nuovo regolamento non definisce cosa è “contenuto dannoso” e cosa è “disinformazione”. Si limita a obbligare le piattaforme a limitarne la diffusione e a prendere adeguate contromisure per estirparne ogni traccia dai loro sistemi, pena multe miliardarie.

Ma la definizione viene demandata a “accordi” esterni che non è ovviamente previsto debbano diventare pubblici.

Scimmie! Siete solo scimmie! E come scimmie venite trattati.

Avete sentito levarsi una voce di protesta? Avete sentito eccepire qualche perplessità? Avete sentito esprimere della preoccupazione in merito?

E allora, pensate che abbiano fatto male a mettervi in un recinto dove ogni tanto vi si tira qualche nocciolina?

La discussione pubblica è una delle colonne fondanti della democrazia. La democrazia non può esistere senza informazione libera da una parte e discussione pubblica libera dall’altra.

Il semplice fatto di andare a votare non è espressione di democrazia, se il voto non può essere il frutto di una applicazione critica della ragione basata su una discussione pubblica senza vincoli.

Ma l’Europa ha capito che la democrazia si può superare. Perché il voto democratico ha delle malattie congenite che invece le dittature non hanno.

Per esempio in democrazia può capitare che i cittadini vedano dei fantasmi, e votino di conseguenza. E questo pericolo, insito nelle democrazie, all’Europa non piace. I fantasmi non esistono, si sa, e allora perché non applicare un po’ di dittatura a fin di bene?

Solo un poco, eliminiamo solo i fantasmi, tanto non esistono. Lo facciamo per le scimmie, solo per loro. Solo un altro po’…

Fonte Andrea Lombardi emailing

I love you because, 100 reasons

I wrote this post thinking of everyone. I didn't want to refer to a special person, but if there ever was, it no longer matters. Now I'm alone and I'm trying to restore my dreams and desires and focus everything on a person who interests me, there is nothing between us yet, although I would like there to be. We'll see how it goes in the next few months. Love has no age!

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you!

I love you because you are always there for me!

I love you because you make my heart smile!

I love you because loving you is easy!

I love you because you are humble, and willing to be humbled.

I love you because you bring out the best in me every day. I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with you.

I love you because you are sexy even when you do laundry..

I love you because you are the complete package. Smart, funny, generous and good-looking

I love you because you are my sunshine! My only sunshine… You absolutely make me happy, even when the skies are gray.

I love you because we can be best friends forever. And ever and ever, you are stuck with me, forever.

I love you because you are the Yin to my Yang. There is a perfect push and pull to our relationship that allows growth and expansion but keeps us attuned to each other.

I love you because you complete me. A corny line from a movie? Maybe. But this statement holds true in all aspects of my life, our life together. I would be incomplete without you.

I love you because you encourage me to be the best version of myself..

I love you because you work hard for all. Day in and day out, you run to work to provide for the family.

I love you because you do meal, so I don’t have to cook. That is what I tell myself anyway. In reality, even if you really don’t love cooking.

I love you because I can control the remote.

I love you because chivalry is not outdated.

I love you because your personality. Funny and sweet, just the way I love you.

I love you because I still get goosebumps. Even after all of these months, you can still flash that cheeky little dimple my way, and I still get goosebumps.

I love you because you are always there for me. I am never alone, in good times and bad times.

I love you because your kindness is refreshing. you will put others before your own needs, and I love you for that.

I love you because you call me out on my night sleep. In times when I forget to be nice, you call me out.

I love you because you are unbelievably patient. I am not an easy person to be with, but somehow you never make me feel like I am anything but wonderful. you have the patience of a saint.

I love you because you love me back to beautiful. Even when I feel ugly, or I am being ugly, you love me back to beautiful.

I love you because your sense of humor is one of your major character attributes. We laugh at all of the same crazy stuff, sometimes until we have tears.

I love you because you stroke my hair. Because you know I won't ask you, you'll just stroke my hair. Honey, you make me feel good.

I love you because trust. I trust you. you trust me. Even if it meant selling a beautiful home on a whim and moving to a new town and country, away from family, so we could live out our “dream” early. And girl, did it work out!

I love you because family is everything. Our little family unit means everything to you, and I am pretty sure you would do anything to keep us safe.

I love you because I get to pick the place to eat, always, as long as there is beer there.

I love you because I can be proud to be yours. You hold yourself to a very high standard, and people respect you. I am proud to be by your side.

I love you because you have an easygoing personality. When I get my crazy ideas, you never hamper them. Instead, you let me run with them.

I love you because you never call me by my name. (Unless you are really mad, of course). 

I love you because you give the best hugs. When I am down, bearhug. When I am happy, bearhug. When I didn’t know I needed it, bearhug. I am swallowed up in your tiny arms, and instantly loved.

I love you because I love the way you look at me. Still to this day, you look at me the same way you did when we first started out.

I love you because you still think I am sexy. Even after all different body fluctuations due to the weight loss diet I'm on, in my 60s you still think I am sexy.

I love you because you wish me a great day, every day, on your way out the door to work. You know how to get my day started right—with a kiss and have a nice day.

I love you because I can put my cold feet on you, at any time. Yep, you always welcome my cold feet as I welcome yours.

I love you because I love that I can look at you and know what you are thinking. It comes in handy when we are silently judging people in public.

I love you because when we snuggle everything is alright in the world. Even when we are mad at each other. But somehow, by morning, most of the anger has melted away through those snuggles.

I love you because the way you kiss my forehead melts my heart.

I love you because we jam to the same jams when working together on projects. Couples who jam together, stay together.

I love you because you build me fires! (The answer is always yes.)

I love you because you pull meat off the bone for me. Second only to cleaning toilets, is picking meat off the bone. And you do this brilliantly, without complaint.

I love you because you celebrate my accomplishments. You are proud of me and tell me so.

I love you because you never complain when I spend money. I can buy some pretty silly things, and you never tell me I am silly for buying them.

I love you because what is ours is ours—not mine, not yours, just ours together.

I love you because you always help me. Even if you have better things to do. If I ask, you stop what you are doing to help me.

I love you because you believe in me. You are always there believing in me.

I love you because hearing your voice brightens my day. Unless it is super early on a Saturday, then I just need a few hours before hearing it.

I love you because you are a fantastic problem solver. Whenever I have problems, you have viable solutions.

I love you because you are thoughtful. Not overly romantic, but extremely thoughtful. Little things like making the day for me is much more meaningful than most romantic gestures.

I love you because you always call me on your way home. Life is busy in the evenings, and you always call me on your way home to make sure we get at least 10 minutes of talk time each day.

I love you because you call me first thing in the morning, just to say, “good morning babe.” Woman does that make me feel happy all day long.

I love you because you know how to lie with class and you forget what you told me just a few hours before and you persist in the lie, venial obviously, but nice because it is everything and the opposite of everything.

I love you because I love how safe I feel with you.

I love you because I love that you didn’t hesitate when I asked if my son could live with us one day.

I love you because I love how you kiss me. Sparks still fly, and my tummy flips every time you give me a good long kiss.

I love you because you are jealous of me even after I declared my never ending love to you, and only you.

I love you because you are an amazing mother.

I love you because you know how to have fun.

I love you because we talk through big decisions together. We are a team, always have been, always will be.

I love you because you can make amazing things.

I love you because you look pretty sexy using a chainsaw.

I love you because you give advice without being pushy.

I love you because you make sure that I am appreciated every day.

I love you because you never give up on us. It has not always been sunshine and roses, but we are still here, together.

I love you because you make me laugh.

I love you because we don’t have to talk. We can be perfectly content in each other's company, no conversation needed.

I love you because I am so blessed you are my babe.

I love you because you are a great pillow. For those times I just can’t stay awake during the movie, you are a fantastic pillow.

I love you because I can always count on you. When life throws us lemons, we make lemonade.

I love you because I can always be myself around you. You love me as I am.

I love you because you are an amazing listener. When I am happy, sad or mad, you hear it all.

I love you because I love how we can talk all night long. Or at least until 9:30 p.m., when I go to bed.

I love you because you can always make my bad day better.

I love you because I love holding your hand while watching scary movies.

I love you because I love smiling when you randomly pop into my mind throughout the day.

I love you because you keep your promises. If you say you're going to do something, you will keep your promise.

I love you because you love me. I love you. It can really be that simple.

I love you because you are my tiny rock. When times get tough, I can count on you to hold me up.

I love you because I love that you can “talk me down.” I am easily agitated, and you can always talk me down to a calmer level of thinking.

I love you because you make my dreams come true. We are living the dream, together.

I love you because we laugh at the same silly parts in the movie. A good laugh can cure just about anything in life.

I love you because you will wear any cologne that I say makes you smell good. I am not even sure if you like any of them for yourself, you just put on what I buy, knowing that I like it.

I love you because I love that you never hesitate to help with dinner. Pho or noodles, or cooking vegetable or fish, you are up for any kitchen tasks if I ask.

I love you because you have an unwavering compassion for animals. You will do the hard things for pets, so I don’t have to.

I love you because making me happy is your top priority.

I love you because you have become a big softy over the days, and I love you all the more for it.

I love you because our future together is strong. Because you are willing to do the hard work necessary to keep it going.

I love you because I am sure you will never make family decisions alone. We shall be always a team, always. The little and big things get talked through.

I love you because I love that you ask me about my passions.

I love you because you are my soulmate.

I love you because you are very passionate about life.

I love you because you have a simple style, and you do not put on airs for anybody.

I love you because you are inclusive to all, and make sure no one is left out of a conversation.

I love you because you have a handle on my feelings, even when I am unsure of myself.

I love you because you are always thinking of me, and my needs.

I love you because you never give up on us.

 

 

 

True love

What is true love?

A definition of love that has something of "scientific" is that of Erich Fromm, a historical German psychologist and academic: "Love is an active power of man, a power that cancels the walls that separate him from his peers, that leads to overcoming the sense of isolation and separation - and yet allows him to be himself and maintain his integrity. It seems like a paradox, but in love two beings become one, yet they remain two." True love in psychology and medicine is also a chemical event caused by physical and hormonal dynamics, but also a psychological phenomenon influenced by the historical context in which we live. There are also those who say that true love doesn't exist because it's just "a chemical illusion of the brain", but it's just a (cynical?) interpretation of those chemical signals I was talking about before.

In short, what is true love in simple terms and how to understand when you are in love? Experts describe it (in a nutshell) as a disinterested, very strong, unconditional feeling, made up of support, harmony and the desire to build a future together. 

There is a feeling, the harmony is top, the moments together are always very beautiful, you talk for hours and miss each other when you can't hear each other... but the doubt arises spontaneously: how to understand if it's true love or if it's just a crush?

How do you tell if it's a crush, or love? 

The signals

There are signs of love, aka those details that reveal to you if what you feel is much more than simple infatuation and which manifest themselves when you love a person. These are the 13 signs to watch out for to understand if it is true love:

1) Almost can't look each other in the eyes due to the intensity of the emotions that exchange of glances triggers in you.

2) Make sacrifices for each other without them burdening you in the slightest. In fact, you would do anything for her. You are not interested in pleasing each other, but simply in making each other happy, in knowing that you are both well.

3) You argue, and argue maybe even about small details, but there is no anger and the idea of not talking to each other makes you feel bad.

4) You know that she could never, ever hurt you and you, in turn, would never do anything to hurt her.

5) You act as a real team, you tell each other everything - joys and sorrows, but also (oops!) mistakes and pranks - you are accomplices and make the first plans for the future together.

6) You make promises to each other and do everything to keep them, because you care about mutual trust today and always.

7) You don't feel envious of the successes she achieves, she doesn't envy yours, on the contrary: you support each other to the end in every undertaking. Jealousy has the right space (very little bulk) in your relationship.

8) Each of you can grow as a person, you have your own free space, you have your own time, but you both know that this does not diminish you as a couple. On the contrary.

9) You care what she thinks of you, she cares what you think of her, you know how to exchange points of view, always evaluate each other's opinion when it comes to making decisions. You know what hurts her and you take it into account, so does she. Always find an agreement - even when you think differently.

10) You *absolutely* cannot desire other people, even when traveling with your imagination.

11) You are always at ease with your partner, no matter what happens around you and what others say. You are solid.

12) You help each other resolve your insecurities, you give each other courage, you always root for each other.

13) Put your needs as a couple above everything else, whether more or less frivolous.

Is love at first sight love?

How to understand if you are in love

Are love and love at first sight the same thing? Hold on tight because science has clarified the matter: research entitled The Neuroimaging of Love conducted in 2018 by the American University of Syracuse has shown that love at first sight exists and can be true love. In fact, it only takes a fifth of a second for the brain to feel love towards a person. The sensation starts from the head - in which as many as 12 areas are activated that release pleasure and activation hormones such as adrenaline, oxytocin and dopamine - and then reaches the heart. When do you know you love someone? Sometimes after years of knowing her, in a slow process where you notice everything you like about her, sometimes it's a matter of one look and that's it.

This is how true love manifests itself, in a few simple points that are very effective in guiding you to understand what you really feel.