LONELINESS IS A PUNISHMENT FOR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE?

Loneliness is not a punishment, it is a gift. Sitting alone is where the magic happens. It is in those moments of silence that you listen to your inner whispers and discover inner peace. You are learning to truly love your own company, and this journey is going to be powerful.

We all write our thoughts on social media, we intend to let the public that follows us know, whether it is populated by many and unknown individuals who have chosen us only because we are handsome men or beautiful women, that we suffer from this loneliness and express the need to escape from it without actually finding the virtual thread that allows us to get out of the labyrinth.

Often choices are made, real or virtual, with the aim of distancing those who are chronic disturbers, or those who write "I love you" to every woman or man they meet on social media. Harmful love because it does not exist. Getting attached to someone who doesn't fill your life is the biggest mistake there is, often the cause of divorces and separations with great pain to be taken into account regarding the children that arise from such unions, even if temporary - we will find out later that they are - ends in themselves but decidedly useless because they acquire the idea of ​​loneliness.

Even surrounding yourself with real or virtual friends on social media does not make us lose happiness, because each of them has a life of their own already marked, participates, maybe jokes with us, but still remains isolated from our worries and in fact isolates us even more.

What to do?

It's okay if loneliness makes you sad, these are valid feelings, but also temporary. Sometimes feeling isolated can be an opportunity to reflect on the types of connections we really need, consider that often you are not the only one to feel lonely, especially if you have joined people with whom you thought you could share your life and instead they take it over for their own benefit. It means that you haven't met all the people who will love and support you yet or maybe you've just crossed paths with them and trivially without getting to know them better, you've eliminated them or pushed them away from you. 

If going out and finding a sense of community is the last thing you want to do right now, that's absolutely right but be merciful and patient with yourself, you are unique and you deserve to be surrounded by people who truly recognize and celebrate it, not just because you're famous and hanging out with you opens all the doors or leads to large amounts of undeserved money, but because you should really count for something to them. 

There's someone out there waiting to find a friend like you, who's been following you for a long time, who never misses an opportunity to dream of a life with you, who always talks about you and gives themselves the strength to move forward dreaming of you. Don't underestimate that person, it's them you really need, they want you not because you're beautiful or famous, rich or poor, but because they have vibes and emotions for you that they don't feel with anyone else. 

Let go of the useless and false idea that no one cares about you, sometimes our loneliness can be what pushes us towards deep and meaningful bonds, the true love that has not yet arrived, and it does not matter if you are in your second, third or fourth marriage to realize that you have considered wrongly how to achieve happiness, you can always learn to treat yourself with the same love and affection that you desire from another person. You must behave with others in a way that they feel your presence and truly suffer your absence to the point of ardently wishing to be able to even just look you in the eyes.

Sometimes you may be misunderstood, but the right people will always understand you. Remember that even platonic relationships can be characterized by depth and emotional intimacy.   Take advantage of that time spent in apparent solitude that allows you to learn and grow as a person and you should not feel like a burden if you want the people in your life to show up for you in the best possible way. 

If your current circle does not satisfy you, you can look for new connections, your value is not determined by your sentimental situation, being your own best friend is a true talent and there is no better time to practice than when you feel hurt when someone disappoints us, even when we know it comes from a mistake of yours. Human beings are prone to making mistakes, everyone does, the important thing is to recognize that you have made a mistake and try to get out of an unpleasant situation that saddens you and causes loneliness. 

Prioritize friendships that make you feel good and be grateful for the people in your life who allow you to be yourself without excuses. Loneliness won’t last forever, but you will get through it too. 

Feeling lonely shouldn’t mean accepting less than you normally would or compromising your values, bonds don’t have to be deep and long-lasting to be meaningful and don’t underestimate the power of casual acquaintances maybe even through social media, even the one who seemed annoying or opportunistic could turn out to be precious to you.

A

Her name starts with A, that name is a constant in my life, 

not because of previous girlfriends but because of the evocation that name carries.

I hope you find your serenity one day. May you learn to look inside yourself and make your insecurities your strengths, fears and courage. I hope that one day, far, far away, you'll find that a person capable of making you mature, grow, understand, know. And I hope that person is myself. I truly loved you, honey, more than you loved me and this, unfortunately, is a bill that only I can pay.

I wanted her like I've never wanted anyone before. I wanted her against all common sense, against all pride, against all reticence, hesitation, preconception, second thoughts, lucidity. I wanted her so much, too much, I wanted her more than she wanted me, and maybe she never wanted me, but she was there and continued to buzz around me, of course - I wanted her even more, to fill this obvious distance between us. I wanted her and I still want her, that's the problem. I want her even though she treated me like a "weird" because deep down I know I was strange.

I want her even though she's gone from my life, even though there's no longer a future together and maybe it wasn't even there before, but it might seem, even though she's dating others, even though everyone else — potential boyfriends, potential men who will win at the roulette wheel life and they will be able to make her fall in love like I was unable to do in eighteen months by giving her everything, even the benefit of the doubt which in reality was already a certainty; certainty of having become entangled in a sterile, counterproductive, burnt-out story.

I want her so much that I learned to tell myself: to clarify, to vent, to calm myself, I learned to tell about us, about her, therefore about myself, a new me that I discovered day after day and hour after hour, re- building me after her mere presence - but even more so her absence - had shattered me, approaching me in an indifferent, superficial or rather, weird way - a word she likes a lot.

There is no future, I know it. We will never be a couple (but always never say never is the mantra). Yet I would trust her. She will never fall in love with me because, as a wise man said with that brutal honesty that only those familiar with life have: you have given yourself too much, she already knows you, she has lost interest. To paraphrase, I'm trite. The truth is that she doesn't know me at all, I would like to point that out. But she didn't want to do it, I would like to clarify this too. I, on the other hand, had to get to know myself again. I had to introduce myself again, new, unpublished, unknown, like a distant relative who you have never seen before but to whom you are linked by sharing a surname, blood, family trees.

I had to present myself with this baggage, these new experiences: hello, I'm the new you who only retains appearance and generality of the old you; I bring you new doubts, I bring you old wounds with new pain, I bring you your insecurities - the usual ones, did you by any chance think you had overcome them? — and the conflicts, the conflicts against the usual you and the new unknown — you will not win, so you better make him a friend, this unknown enemy of yourself that you cannot defeat, you better learn to live with this unknown troublemaker who chases an unrequited love and throws himself into the void against all common sense.

She was my void. In everything. The leap into the void. The emptiness in my stomach. The void of substance and content and feelings and perspectives and investments. She gave me a little that seemed like a lot, and with that much that was in fact little I was reassured that I had achieved peace of mind and it would be an understatement to talk about giving or donating. She gave me so little that sometimes I think I even dreamed it. She gave me, for my perspective, for the nothing I had given up until that time - that, in the evident imbalance of the relationship, I remained anchored to my scale while she, in the lightness of hers, was already flying towards new destinations, other stories, new interests, more tantalizing pleasures.

And then, let's face it, she's not the one who's strange. She is the representation that most conforms to the average Vietnamese woman - interested, shrewd, straight forwarded, perhaps apparently superficially and falsely modern but internally linked to the values of the traditional family, but only in words, then in reality I didn't know or perhaps I deliberately ignored, unable to invent scenarios reliable ones that could justify my way of thinking about her. Was it me who was stupid? Am I the one who believed her words, who saw sincerity in them, who fondled her when perhaps she should have been slapped to make her see reason and recognize our relationship? I should have helped her to be found when we had to get lost, to be there when I had to leave. 

Love is an ironic twist of fate. And a sarcastic joke about life. I thought she was the one after our first pseudo phone conversation with Zalo? It was there, in those hours condensed in a pleasant conversation with an almost stranger whose photographic features I remembered well but not the look, not the look because we had not yet looked intensely into each other's eyes, that I understood, I hoped, I believed that finally after so much wandering in vain, finally after so much waiting, I had finally been rewarded: finally I said, her. And I felt it was mine from the first time we went out, I felt it was part of my life, like a phantom limb: it wasn't there, but I felt it. It was there, we had already met in another time and another space, it was destiny that had told us, inspiration from the oriental idea of love, perhaps perfect or imperfect but it suited both of us perfectly: we just had to meet, it was just that the effort and once made, here we are.

But we weren't here. Or rather she was there, there, everywhere, with the gift of transmutation of those who do not anchor themselves to any shore. It wasn't mine, it was hers, of herself, of her past, of her limits, of her preconceptions, of her present of which I was part to a minimal extent - an ephemeral, unrealistic, surmountable, set aside extent - of her future of which I would not have done but part, I just didn't know. It was hers, of herself and of the interest she never had in me or maybe she did but she never told me openly, of the superficiality with which she treated me, apparent love, of the lies she foisted on me, and I reconstructed with unfailing sagacity, the fruit of my eidetic memory, which was once called photographic, of the apparent respect it has granted me, of the lack of education with which it moves in the world and with which I have allowed it to move in mine and with which I myself have downgraded, degraded, devalued to an incredible and smoky lover like a reflection for his luminous image, the result of skilful exercises in creativity.

She belongs to herself and it is right, very right, sacrosanct that she is, she belongs to herself. I just wanted her to share with me part of her belonging, of her existence: this is what I wanted. The truth is that someone who wants to leave and travel and discover cannot be forced to love and stay - even if that departure then becomes a return, even if the journey then becomes the road home: even if she returns, she doesn't stay - she leaves she will go again, and she has done so countless times, she has done so now too, the last one, in which she ideally turned to the web, almost running away, she smiled at me aware that we would never see each other again.

Maybe we won't see each other again but I don't know this yet, and neither does she, because perhaps I will no longer have the courage to flay my soul to discover her heart. I will no longer have the courage to believe in a future that doesn't exist and to delude myself into what doesn't exist and what I thought was. I don't want to give her the time needed to understand if he is the right one for her. And if not him, another? One without a face, without a name for me, but with a precise physiognomy for her: money as a defined and constant presence, a lot of money, no more than I have, but she wanted much more, my soul, to live with in a way that I cannot, I have a son and values ​​that I cannot escape, not because distance had been created, of course, but above all emotionality. Will I not have the courage to face a bastard, but the true reality: she does not want me and I do not want to allow myself the luxury of collapsing when she tells me that someone else has reached the finish line? I won't survive today's, I won't even survive tomorrow's, and then how many others?

I will no longer have courage because everything was exhausted when I persisted in continuing on viscous, slippery ground, on which I fell and got up and fell again: when, aware of defeat, I went to the bottom of the abyss, to the bottom of the the ocean, to touch the lowest point of my existence with my own hands in order to possibly go back up.

I still love you very much honey, I know I wanted to take care of you: of your wounds, of your good eyes, of your insecurities, and also on your securities, of your ambition. I wanted to undermine your superficial frankness only with words. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted and then I had to unhinge my wanted because you didn't want.

Thoughts of love dedicated to an Angel

I don't love you as if you were a salt rose, a topaz or an arrow of carnations that spread fire, I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. 

I love you like a plant that does not flower and carries within itself, hidden, the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love the dense aroma that rises from the earth lives darkly in my body. 

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride, I love you like this because 

I don't know how to love otherwise than in this way in which I am not and you are not, so close that your hand on my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my sleep.

A

I will not post any photographs of her or even mention her name.
She'll understand.

All that is wonderful at the beginning of our story I hope will turn into the story of our life, the one with a capital S, the one that will make us happy and let us experience the fairytale ending, while I tremble at the thought that it could turn, along the way, into an adventure with a sad and empty ending, which will break our hearts. Love is so immense that it knows no half measures.

Starting a long-lasting relationship is no joke, and if I say it as an expert, it's to be believed, even if the stereotype states that women are increasingly launched towards married life, while men, on the contrary, are increasingly reluctant to commit, the truth is that I seem the one of the two more oriented towards a long-term relationship and she is still evaluating the offer. We have only taken the path of "serious history" but it is always very important to evaluate the situation well, and we are both doing this.

Of course, there was love at first sight (I'm also a specialist in this) and no one asked questions, because there was no need given the total and immediate harmony. Yet in real life it is hardly like this, and a relationship must be cultivated day after day: it is not a chimera that once achieved will solve our problems. The chemistry of falling in love is sacrosanct, but it must be combined with other factors that blend and complement each other in the relationship of life as a couple, until the story is consolidated. But sometimes you are not ready, you can make mistakes or you come to a crossroads where you have to figure out how to continue.

I didn't ask myself questions about my future with her because I thought she might be the right person for me, and she certainly is, I just have to avoid making mistakes that could somehow ruin the harmony that has been created between us and wreck everything. This is why I began to ask myself if my intentions are serious, because it is one thing to read a text in which idyllic to catastrophic scenarios are presented to you, and another thing is to understand if beyond any reasonable feeling, she is really the woman that I was looking for and ours could be a lasting relationship and so the time has come to put myself on the line.

It all started in November 2022, I'll leave out the details. From that moment we started talking, exchanging thoughts, hopes, goals, stakes, ideas on how our relationship could be founded, initially as a friendship and then something more. That something extra was not classified as marriage even though the implication of marriage was not latent but alive, for various reasons. First of all, we both came out of bad marriage stories, we both have children. Getting married was not but could be the option on the table, it is difficult to live together in the country where we both live, especially under the same roof, the laws could create problems for us, sharing one's life more or less assiduously is the objective to be achieved and to compensate for the mutual shortcomings - no one is perfect - and aspire to a simpler life free from worries.

Considering that you are around thirty-five years old (only on your identity card) and I am a gentleman who has long passed middle age, our paths could converge to follow a common one with a lot of joy, a spirit of collaboration, inner happiness, respect , trust, lots of happiness, joy, loyalty and love, because the last must necessarily exist.

What I look for in our relationship? 

Kindness 

It may seem strange but it's true, as a man I appreciate an attitude made of sweet understanding, gentle ways and acceptance of who I am. Feeling valued and loved is the place to start. All her gestures are affectionate, not even my ex wife has ever behaved like this. She continually seeks physical contact, even just touching me with a foot or holding my hand is a sign of affection. Considering the environment where we both live (Vietnam) it's a lot. I'm happy with her.

Security

Like all men, I too have my own idea of charm and attraction. But, although there is a 'common line' for which a woman is considered attractive, it's important she knows how to recognize her own value and not be afraid to show self-confidence. Being self-confident and aware of one's qualities is a great element of charm.

Cheerfulness

I wasn't looking for a comedian, a sense of humor was enough for me, knowing how to appreciate my witticisms and her ability to entertain myself are qualities that I really appreciate. Positivity is generally contagious, and it's a way of dealing with life that makes me feel better. She has these peculiar characteristics, when we are together we laugh almost all the time, obviously not like happy geese on command, the joy comes from the happiness of sharing fragments of life together. Then she is a master in self-irony and has the ability to lighten heavy situations by de-dramatizing. In short, I was looking for someone capable of taking life with joy like her.

Emotional support

She does not have a typically feminine specialty, namely that of criticizing every action, phrase, thought made by her partner. Someone will tell me that it is still early, perhaps so but I have not seen even a few timid attempts, everything is fine with her and if criticism comes, as happens in all couples, it will be soft and painless, she will not be the type of woman who offends the partner. In a healthy relationship we support each other, and even if daily life can give rise to misunderstandings, subjecting the other to constant criticism or worse, being blamed is not a situation we can aspire to.

Simplicity

Like all men, I don't like things that are too complicated. Even about my life partner. This also applies to aesthetic parameters, self-care is fine, but I could hardly really expect and appreciate absurd aesthetic levels.

New motivation

In a relationship I also look for motivations, news and suggestions that lead me to detach myself from my habits. This would also apply under the sheets, although I think it's premature to address that. I am originally a shy man who has only become emancipated in the last few years and maybe even a little clumsy in certain situations. That's why my woman should surprise me and realize my fantasies even before expressing them.

She lives between desire and reality, between will and power, between present and future. She is a straightforward woman, with all the implications that means. She is part of a proactive, ambitious, vigorous generation that doesn't give up, that loves to dream. She is more capable of accepting the ambiguities and uncertainties of life, thanks to a strong ability to move in a chameleonic way. Sometimes she can also be cynical and unscrupulous, but often more objective than previous and subsequent generations: she knows how to wait for a need, a dream, a passion; she knows how to make a wish come true, step by step; she knows how to embrace a goal and move forward with obstinacy. But she is also a woman who has suffered, and the recent loss of her mother contributes to this and makes her more exposed to certain considerations regarding her life. 

Undoubtedly she is weaker, not even much because she always has that determination distinguishes her, but being emotionally involved in the latest events of her life leads her to consider with greater attention what she currently has at her disposal, and if this awareness is useful, certainly knowing there is a man (me) who loves her above all else is certainly an aspect not to be underestimated and not to be missed.

She is the splendid woman I love.

I love you because, 100 reasons

I wrote this post thinking of everyone. I didn't want to refer to a special person, but if there ever was, it no longer matters. Now I'm alone and I'm trying to restore my dreams and desires and focus everything on a person who interests me, there is nothing between us yet, although I would like there to be. We'll see how it goes in the next few months. Love has no age!

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you!

I love you because you are always there for me!

I love you because you make my heart smile!

I love you because loving you is easy!

I love you because you are humble, and willing to be humbled.

I love you because you bring out the best in me every day. I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with you.

I love you because you are sexy even when you do laundry..

I love you because you are the complete package. Smart, funny, generous and good-looking

I love you because you are my sunshine! My only sunshine… You absolutely make me happy, even when the skies are gray.

I love you because we can be best friends forever. And ever and ever, you are stuck with me, forever.

I love you because you are the Yin to my Yang. There is a perfect push and pull to our relationship that allows growth and expansion but keeps us attuned to each other.

I love you because you complete me. A corny line from a movie? Maybe. But this statement holds true in all aspects of my life, our life together. I would be incomplete without you.

I love you because you encourage me to be the best version of myself..

I love you because you work hard for all. Day in and day out, you run to work to provide for the family.

I love you because you do meal, so I don’t have to cook. That is what I tell myself anyway. In reality, even if you really don’t love cooking.

I love you because I can control the remote.

I love you because chivalry is not outdated.

I love you because your personality. Funny and sweet, just the way I love you.

I love you because I still get goosebumps. Even after all of these months, you can still flash that cheeky little dimple my way, and I still get goosebumps.

I love you because you are always there for me. I am never alone, in good times and bad times.

I love you because your kindness is refreshing. you will put others before your own needs, and I love you for that.

I love you because you call me out on my night sleep. In times when I forget to be nice, you call me out.

I love you because you are unbelievably patient. I am not an easy person to be with, but somehow you never make me feel like I am anything but wonderful. you have the patience of a saint.

I love you because you love me back to beautiful. Even when I feel ugly, or I am being ugly, you love me back to beautiful.

I love you because your sense of humor is one of your major character attributes. We laugh at all of the same crazy stuff, sometimes until we have tears.

I love you because you stroke my hair. Because you know I won't ask you, you'll just stroke my hair. Honey, you make me feel good.

I love you because trust. I trust you. you trust me. Even if it meant selling a beautiful home on a whim and moving to a new town and country, away from family, so we could live out our “dream” early. And girl, did it work out!

I love you because family is everything. Our little family unit means everything to you, and I am pretty sure you would do anything to keep us safe.

I love you because I get to pick the place to eat, always, as long as there is beer there.

I love you because I can be proud to be yours. You hold yourself to a very high standard, and people respect you. I am proud to be by your side.

I love you because you have an easygoing personality. When I get my crazy ideas, you never hamper them. Instead, you let me run with them.

I love you because you never call me by my name. (Unless you are really mad, of course). 

I love you because you give the best hugs. When I am down, bearhug. When I am happy, bearhug. When I didn’t know I needed it, bearhug. I am swallowed up in your tiny arms, and instantly loved.

I love you because I love the way you look at me. Still to this day, you look at me the same way you did when we first started out.

I love you because you still think I am sexy. Even after all different body fluctuations due to the weight loss diet I'm on, in my 60s you still think I am sexy.

I love you because you wish me a great day, every day, on your way out the door to work. You know how to get my day started right—with a kiss and have a nice day.

I love you because I can put my cold feet on you, at any time. Yep, you always welcome my cold feet as I welcome yours.

I love you because I love that I can look at you and know what you are thinking. It comes in handy when we are silently judging people in public.

I love you because when we snuggle everything is alright in the world. Even when we are mad at each other. But somehow, by morning, most of the anger has melted away through those snuggles.

I love you because the way you kiss my forehead melts my heart.

I love you because we jam to the same jams when working together on projects. Couples who jam together, stay together.

I love you because you build me fires! (The answer is always yes.)

I love you because you pull meat off the bone for me. Second only to cleaning toilets, is picking meat off the bone. And you do this brilliantly, without complaint.

I love you because you celebrate my accomplishments. You are proud of me and tell me so.

I love you because you never complain when I spend money. I can buy some pretty silly things, and you never tell me I am silly for buying them.

I love you because what is ours is ours—not mine, not yours, just ours together.

I love you because you always help me. Even if you have better things to do. If I ask, you stop what you are doing to help me.

I love you because you believe in me. You are always there believing in me.

I love you because hearing your voice brightens my day. Unless it is super early on a Saturday, then I just need a few hours before hearing it.

I love you because you are a fantastic problem solver. Whenever I have problems, you have viable solutions.

I love you because you are thoughtful. Not overly romantic, but extremely thoughtful. Little things like making the day for me is much more meaningful than most romantic gestures.

I love you because you always call me on your way home. Life is busy in the evenings, and you always call me on your way home to make sure we get at least 10 minutes of talk time each day.

I love you because you call me first thing in the morning, just to say, “good morning babe.” Woman does that make me feel happy all day long.

I love you because you know how to lie with class and you forget what you told me just a few hours before and you persist in the lie, venial obviously, but nice because it is everything and the opposite of everything.

I love you because I love how safe I feel with you.

I love you because I love that you didn’t hesitate when I asked if my son could live with us one day.

I love you because I love how you kiss me. Sparks still fly, and my tummy flips every time you give me a good long kiss.

I love you because you are jealous of me even after I declared my never ending love to you, and only you.

I love you because you are an amazing mother.

I love you because you know how to have fun.

I love you because we talk through big decisions together. We are a team, always have been, always will be.

I love you because you can make amazing things.

I love you because you look pretty sexy using a chainsaw.

I love you because you give advice without being pushy.

I love you because you make sure that I am appreciated every day.

I love you because you never give up on us. It has not always been sunshine and roses, but we are still here, together.

I love you because you make me laugh.

I love you because we don’t have to talk. We can be perfectly content in each other's company, no conversation needed.

I love you because I am so blessed you are my babe.

I love you because you are a great pillow. For those times I just can’t stay awake during the movie, you are a fantastic pillow.

I love you because I can always count on you. When life throws us lemons, we make lemonade.

I love you because I can always be myself around you. You love me as I am.

I love you because you are an amazing listener. When I am happy, sad or mad, you hear it all.

I love you because I love how we can talk all night long. Or at least until 9:30 p.m., when I go to bed.

I love you because you can always make my bad day better.

I love you because I love holding your hand while watching scary movies.

I love you because I love smiling when you randomly pop into my mind throughout the day.

I love you because you keep your promises. If you say you're going to do something, you will keep your promise.

I love you because you love me. I love you. It can really be that simple.

I love you because you are my tiny rock. When times get tough, I can count on you to hold me up.

I love you because I love that you can “talk me down.” I am easily agitated, and you can always talk me down to a calmer level of thinking.

I love you because you make my dreams come true. We are living the dream, together.

I love you because we laugh at the same silly parts in the movie. A good laugh can cure just about anything in life.

I love you because you will wear any cologne that I say makes you smell good. I am not even sure if you like any of them for yourself, you just put on what I buy, knowing that I like it.

I love you because I love that you never hesitate to help with dinner. Pho or noodles, or cooking vegetable or fish, you are up for any kitchen tasks if I ask.

I love you because you have an unwavering compassion for animals. You will do the hard things for pets, so I don’t have to.

I love you because making me happy is your top priority.

I love you because you have become a big softy over the days, and I love you all the more for it.

I love you because our future together is strong. Because you are willing to do the hard work necessary to keep it going.

I love you because I am sure you will never make family decisions alone. We shall be always a team, always. The little and big things get talked through.

I love you because I love that you ask me about my passions.

I love you because you are my soulmate.

I love you because you are very passionate about life.

I love you because you have a simple style, and you do not put on airs for anybody.

I love you because you are inclusive to all, and make sure no one is left out of a conversation.

I love you because you have a handle on my feelings, even when I am unsure of myself.

I love you because you are always thinking of me, and my needs.

I love you because you never give up on us.