Love over sixty between false myths and reality of the body and heart

Heart pounding and shortness of breath. The hands that tremble, the passion that flares up. Common sense that turns into irrationality. The burning feeling that obliges one to do and say unspeakable things and apparently not in keeping with one's age. Emotions that become feelings and thoughts that detach from reality.

A recurring thought, which is a candidate to become an obsessive thought. These and many others are the symptoms of falling in love. And they are ageless. Among the urban legends about love, one unfortunately reigns supreme: youthful love can be passionate and irrational, it can overflow the banks of conscience, while adult and grizzled love absolutely not, it must wear the shoes of prudent love .

A common voice correlates the passion and elitist feeling of love to the chronological age of the protagonist of that couple bond; therefore, the ability to love after the "antas" is considered a risky, imprudent choice, bordering on recklessness and indecency.

This is a great falsehood, because the verb to love does not know age, skin color or gender. The average age has considerably lengthened, many diseases are treatable today, and aging is no longer combined with a worsening of psycho-physical health conditions.

The quality of life has improved globally, therefore, today's fifties and sixties correspond to yesterday's forties; and love and sex life belongs to the concept of quality of life.

To love, to get excited, to donate psychic parts of oneself and to get involved again, is an unequivocal sign of the fertility of existence.

Prudent love versus love and that's it

The word love doesn't go well with the term prudent, rational, weighted. Terms that clumsily and forcibly are associated with grizzled bonds. But does love age? A love without tachycardia and a good dose of enthusiasm, based on common sense and reasoning; a love that does not transform and that does not transform itself, that does not shift the barometer from reason to loss of control, is a sort of bad copy of the original feeling.

True love is not age related, but depends on many other elements that are sometimes present, other times not, regardless of age. There are prudent loves among young people and all-round loves among the over forties, and vice versa.

The homeopathic doses of feeling and the fear of letting go of love do not depend on the age of the protagonists of the couple bond, but on the defense mechanisms of the psyche, on how the partners were nourished in their respective childhood lands, and if they have really been nourished, by how much and how they are willing to invest in the couple's journey, and by that indispensable dose of healthy madness that belongs to those who really love. Love seduces and scares, so often, at all ages, short-term love affairs are preferred, with high emotional intensity, but with a low level of effort.

Youthful loves follow one another and represent the trials and errors of becoming an adult. Often fleeting, sometimes intense and destructive, other times they are ferry loves : they wear the clothes of Charon and help to pass through the land of adults. Grizzled loves are more aware loves.

Loves that have overcome the obligation to aesthetic perfectionism, able to let themselves be overwhelmed by the waves of emotion, without bumps and without too much slow motion.

Love and caution: alibi or reality?

The theory of caution at a certain age is quite frequent and sadly in use. Many protagonists of shipwrecked loves imagine their sentimental and sexual life as if it were a sort of flat calm. Thoughtful. Perhaps crowded in terms of the quantity of meetings to the detriment of the emotional quality because it is risky.

A sort of love multitasking that facilitates a multi-level relationship life, but prevents its depth. There is nothing more wrong. The sacred fire of love doesn't deal with the registry office, with the first wrinkles and graying hair, instead it characterizes courageous loves.

The bold. Those who still have so much to say and give themselves, ready to invest again and again, with a heart without fence walls, with a good dose of boldness and vitality, without reservations and without the most acrobatic strategies to balance emotional balances .

In love there are no budgets, accounts with the abacus or emotional compromises. There are no costs and benefits, who gives more and who less should reign supreme the ability and desire to love and be loved, in any season of life.

The emotions experienced at a certain age take on a more intense meaning, because they force us to come to terms with ourselves. As adults you shouldn't lie to yourself, you should already know what you no longer want from life and, why not, what you still want. Loving at all ages is the most powerful of the elixirs of life , because pleasure always remains a sentinel of life.

Love over sixty between false myths and reality of the body and heart

Grizzled loves create conflicting emotions: some shun them, some praise them. There are those who challenge biology and want to become a parent. Who has been in the past, but he was too young to be aware of and fully enjoy the joys of parenthood and want to try again in hindsight.

They are not tired bonds, characterized by emotional and sexual asthenia; they are bonds nourished and warmed by the awareness and playful relationship with sexuality and sexual health. They are certainly not lukewarm and bored loves, they are instead highly emotional bonds, with butterflies in the stomach of a teenager and a grateful gaze towards the life of an adult.

Many sixty-year-olds today have already crashed against the rocks of previous shipwrecked marriages, but despite the wounds of the heart they hope to be able to love once again, with the secret hope that this time is the right time.

Experienced couples, bored couples?

Not at all. They are couples who have substituted fear for the fullness of life, lack of knowledge of themselves and their partner for a more in-depth reading of the dynamics that characterize the couple's relationship; all warmed up by an empathetic and authentic dialogue.

This emotional climate nourished by a good relationship with oneself, with one's body and with one's world of impulses, makes the over fifty excellent lovers, who experience sexuality in a playful and conscious way, without the anxiety of performance and possible conception.

Loving extends life

Love with its hormonal and emotional bath extends life. Many studies show that over 65s in love live longer and in better health than singles, divorced and widowed people.

Salt and pepper hair does not correlate with the early retirement of love life and with life under the sheets, but with the courage to start over. Many men and many women are no longer satisfied with the half measures of living love: they close exhausted relationships, cut the dry leaves, and start over.

With enthusiasm, with love, with the heartbeat of falling in love, sometimes with a wedding ring on your finger. The desire to love and to love well survives the wear and tear of time that dusts everything and becomes a true cornerstone of many existences.

A love advanced in years has the power to make peace with love, takes on a repairing meaning, and is the healthy bearer of a great transformative force capable of healing the previous wounds of the heart.

Age does not protect against the fear of loving and from love, but love, on the other hand, protects against advancing age.