Feeling of lack
The feeling of lack is one of those we feel most ardently in our lives. We miss a loved one, a friend, a parent or a child but we also miss countries and places, situations and feelings. Is it belonging? Yes, what we are missing is certainly part of our life and our existence. It was or is.
The feeling of emptiness generated by lack makes us understand the strength of a feeling and the value a person has in our life. The shortcomings related to the family are self-explanatory: undoubtedly the absence of a child or a parent are very strong feelings we all feel for good reasons - a departure or a journey - and for less beautiful reasons - mourning or separation due to events, a voluntary separation of one of the parties – in any case it is a shortcoming.
Loss
The loss of the loved one is intense and wonderful. It could mark us a partner away for work but also a lover who we cannot see or hear. The person who decided to interrupt the stretch of life together is missing. Equally important is the lack of places - where we lived or where we were born - or of feelings and situations - lack of love, friendship or sense of family -.
How can we live with this sense of emptiness generated by lack? Of course it depends on the situation. If we talk about the loss of a deceased person we must necessarily feel pain and then let go of this feeling. The person who is no longer with us has left something very important in our lives. If we come to miss them, therefore, let's not forget the beautiful moments we spent together.
Every now and then let's take refuge in those memories, in his words, in his teachings or in his hugs but let's do it with a smile and not with the pain of no longer having them. I quote this phrase from Saint Augustine I love very much: "Let us not despair at having lost a loved one, but let us rejoice at having had them".
If we miss a person in the family because they have decided to end the relationship - unfortunately this also happens - then we owe it to ourselves to metabolize this abandonment and then let go of any feelings of anxiety, fear and anger associated with it. Negative feelings don't make us feel good and don't even bring us back to reconnecting with that finished relationship. Let's avoid crowding our minds with questions about how it is possible for a father to abandon a son or a mother to leave a daughter in difficulty.
We can never know the aspects of that person's mind. What we can do is love each other, seek contact at the beginning - especially because he will make us feel like we have tried everything - and then dedicate ourselves to our happiness. There is happiness even without those people. It exists if we want it strongly, if we cultivate it, if we look for it in what is next to us. In most situations it happens that too focused on understanding why that relationship ended we lose sight of the wonder and gifts that life has given us. A person who loves us, a child, health, the magic of emotions.
And, finally, if you miss places and countries near or far. Well, go... take a trip to recover the wonderful emotions that they give you or move if you think that your life elsewhere could be better.
How can we live with this sense of emptiness generated by lack? Of course it depends on the situation. If we talk about the loss of a deceased person we must necessarily feel pain and then let go of this feeling. The person who is no longer with us has left something very important in our lives. If we come to miss them, therefore, let's not forget the beautiful moments we spent together.
Every now and then let's take refuge in those memories, in his words, in his teachings or in his hugs but let's do it with a smile and not with the pain of no longer having them. I quote this phrase from Saint Augustine I love very much: "Let us not despair at having lost a loved one, but let us rejoice at having had them".
If we miss a person in the family because they have decided to end the relationship - unfortunately this also happens - then we owe it to ourselves to metabolize this abandonment and then let go of any feelings of anxiety, fear and anger associated with it. Negative feelings don't make us feel good and don't even bring us back to reconnecting with that finished relationship. Let's avoid crowding our minds with questions about how it is possible for a father to abandon a son or a mother to leave a daughter in difficulty.
We can never know the aspects of that person's mind. What we can do is love each other, seek contact at the beginning - especially because he will make us feel like we have tried everything - and then dedicate ourselves to our happiness. There is happiness even without those people. It exists if we want it strongly, if we cultivate it, if we look for it in what is next to us. In most situations it happens that too focused on understanding why that relationship ended we lose sight of the wonder and gifts that life has given us. A person who loves us, a child, health, the magic of emotions.
Love
And now we come to love. Missing your loved one is the first step to understanding that person has true value for us, they belong to us. We miss her looks, her words, her messages, her smile, her caresses and hugs. We miss her and we find her in every song, in every film, in every word read in a book.
It's like that, it's part of love. What to do? We must rejoice if this feeling is part of a relationship that works and that does not make us miss the feeling of being the most loved person in the world. Even if the lack generates a void, the awareness of being part of one whole with the other person must make us feel good.
Especially if we know – and we always know – that the other person misses us too. Let's think back to the last hug or kiss and stay there for a while... smiling and enjoying those wonderful sensations. This helps us overcome the lack until the next hug.
If the relationship is not reciprocated, we need to change our attitude, a nice turning point and we start again. Let's not stop where there is no happiness for us. It is not fair to ourselves and the life we have been given.
We don't deserve unhappiness and we must always feel true and sincere love in our lives.
The one that overwhelms you and makes you unexpectedly emotional. The one that makes you get up in the morning thinking about the person you love and knowing that they are thinking of you. The one that keeps you physically distant but united in heart and soul.
If this is not there, that journey is not made for us. We have to get off the train and do it as soon as possible, before the right one can pass alongside us without stopping.
The finished love. This is very complicated. Here we need to recover all the strength necessary to be able to love ourselves to the point of understanding that that story is over and we cannot keep ourselves anchored to an idea that belongs to the past. The end of a marriage, a cohabitation, an engagement or a simple relationship is not a failure.
It is important to impress this in our minds because it is the first block we impose on ourselves. We made a piece of life together with that person but now it's time to close and look beyond. The lack, especially in the case of long relationships, is often dictated by habit. No longer setting the table for that person makes you feel empty, just like no longer seeing the toothbrush in the glass or not having a person to organize Sunday with.
The kiss goodnight or the complicity in preparing breakfast in the morning is a lack. Missing the daily phone call and chatting before going to sleep. Well, this is often what's missing. An idea of family, of couple, of shared everyday life. But this is not love. L
love is missing breaths, kisses, hugs, smiles, gestures and words that only that person could give us. Talk to yourself: if emotions are missing and love is no longer reciprocated, you know what to do; If, however, daily gestures are missing, then work on habits and insert new ones into your life. The first few days are difficult but give yourself a month and you will find yourself setting the table counting the right guests without even thinking about who is missing.
The idea of love and happiness shared with another person can be reconstructed with the new. But we must be ready to welcome it…
It's like that, it's part of love. What to do? We must rejoice if this feeling is part of a relationship that works and that does not make us miss the feeling of being the most loved person in the world. Even if the lack generates a void, the awareness of being part of one whole with the other person must make us feel good.
Especially if we know – and we always know – that the other person misses us too. Let's think back to the last hug or kiss and stay there for a while... smiling and enjoying those wonderful sensations. This helps us overcome the lack until the next hug.
If the relationship is not reciprocated, we need to change our attitude, a nice turning point and we start again. Let's not stop where there is no happiness for us. It is not fair to ourselves and the life we have been given.
We don't deserve unhappiness and we must always feel true and sincere love in our lives.
The one that overwhelms you and makes you unexpectedly emotional. The one that makes you get up in the morning thinking about the person you love and knowing that they are thinking of you. The one that keeps you physically distant but united in heart and soul.
If this is not there, that journey is not made for us. We have to get off the train and do it as soon as possible, before the right one can pass alongside us without stopping.
The finished love. This is very complicated. Here we need to recover all the strength necessary to be able to love ourselves to the point of understanding that that story is over and we cannot keep ourselves anchored to an idea that belongs to the past. The end of a marriage, a cohabitation, an engagement or a simple relationship is not a failure.
It is important to impress this in our minds because it is the first block we impose on ourselves. We made a piece of life together with that person but now it's time to close and look beyond. The lack, especially in the case of long relationships, is often dictated by habit. No longer setting the table for that person makes you feel empty, just like no longer seeing the toothbrush in the glass or not having a person to organize Sunday with.
The kiss goodnight or the complicity in preparing breakfast in the morning is a lack. Missing the daily phone call and chatting before going to sleep. Well, this is often what's missing. An idea of family, of couple, of shared everyday life. But this is not love. L
love is missing breaths, kisses, hugs, smiles, gestures and words that only that person could give us. Talk to yourself: if emotions are missing and love is no longer reciprocated, you know what to do; If, however, daily gestures are missing, then work on habits and insert new ones into your life. The first few days are difficult but give yourself a month and you will find yourself setting the table counting the right guests without even thinking about who is missing.
The idea of love and happiness shared with another person can be reconstructed with the new. But we must be ready to welcome it…
Places
And, finally, if you miss places and countries near or far. Well, go... take a trip to recover the wonderful emotions that they give you or move if you think that your life elsewhere could be better.
Nessun commento:
Posta un commento
Anonymous comments are not allowed in the blog, so to comment you must use a Blogger profile or OpenID. The Blogger platform allows comment authors to delete their posts but not to modify the content. As a general rule, education towards both the blog administrator and other users is mandatory.
Messages can be deleted at the blogger's unquestionable decision, if offensive, suggestive and / or not relevant to the topic. In the most serious cases, the definitive ban from the blog of the author of the offending comment.
I do not reply to those who send me an email without putting their name and surname. Take note. Happy reading and thanks for your visit.
Please note: comments containing links to other sites will not be published.
Leave your comment.