Happy couples

20 Habits of Happy Couples

1. They laugh together.

2. They make sacrifices.

3. They go on dates.

4. They say "I love you" every day.

5. They give each other space.

6. They always kiss goodnight.

7. They communicate their feelings.

8. They make time for each other.

9. They always support each other.

10. They learn each other's love language.

11. They listen.

12. They set goals together.

13. They don't compare their relationship to others.

14. They are spontaneous.

15. They don't raise their voices.

16. They give thoughtful surprises.

17. They don't involve others in conflicts.

18. They address their problems.

19. They stay in touch throughout the day.

20. They make time for intimacy.

Missing is already belonging

I read this morning on Facebook. A quote by writer Lailly Daolio that led me to some reflections I'd like to share with you. The feeling of missing is one of the most ardent feelings we experience in our lives. We miss a loved one, a friend, a parent, or a child, but we also miss countries and places, situations and feelings. Is it a sense of belonging? Yes, what we miss is certainly part of our life and our existence. It was or is.

The feeling of emptiness generated by missing helps us understand the strength of a feeling and the value a person has in our lives. Family-related misses are self-explanatory: undoubtedly, the loss of a child or a parent are very strong feelings that we all experience for good reasons—a departure or a trip—and for less good reasons—a bereavement or a separation due to events, a voluntary separation of one party—in any case, it is a loss. The loss of a loved one is intense and wonderful. A partner away for work might mark us. But also a lover we can't see or hear. We miss the person who decided to end our life together. Equally important is the loss of places—where we lived or where we were born—or feelings and situations—the lack of love, friendship, or a sense of family.

How can we live with this sense of emptiness generated by loss? Clearly, it depends on the situation. If we talk about the loss of a deceased person, we must necessarily feel pain and then let go of this feeling. The person who is no longer with us has left something very important in our life if we come to miss them, so let's not forget the beautiful moments we shared. Every now and then, let's take refuge in those memories, in their words, their teachings, or their embraces, but let's do it with a smile and not with the pain of no longer having them. I quote this quote from Saint Augustine that I love very much: "Let us not despair for having lost a loved one, but rejoice for having had them.”

If we miss a family member because they decided to end the relationship—unfortunately, this also happens This—then we owe it to ourselves to process this abandonment and then let go of all the anxiety, fear, and anger associated with it. Negative feelings don't make us feel good, nor do they bring us back to that broken relationship. Let's avoid crowding our minds with questions about how it's possible for a father to abandon a son or a mother to leave a struggling daughter. We will never be able to know the nuances of that person's mind. What we can do is love ourselves, seek contact initially—especially because it will make us feel like we've tried everything—and then dedicate ourselves to our own happiness. Happiness exists even without those people. It exists if we want it strongly, if we cultivate it, if we seek it in those around us. In most situations, we become too focused on understanding why that relationship ended, and we lose sight of the wonder and gifts that life has given us: a person who loves us, a child, health, the magic of emotions.

And now we come to love. Missing a loved one is the first step to understanding that person has true value for us, that they belong to us. We miss their looks, their words, their messages, their smile, their caresses and hugs. We miss them and find them in every song, in every movie, in every word we read in a book. That's right, it's part of love. What can we do? We should rejoice if this feeling is part of a relationship that works and that doesn't let us miss the feeling of being the most loved person in the world. Even if the loss creates a void, the awareness of being part of a whole with the other person should make us feel good. Especially if we know—and we always know—that the other person misses us too. Let's think back to that last hug or kiss and stay there for a while...smiling and enjoying those wonderful sensations. This helps us overcome the loss until the next hug. If the relationship isn't reciprocated, we need a change of attitude, a good turnaround, and we can start again. Let's not stop where there's no happiness for us. It's unfair to ourselves and to the life we've been given. We don't deserve unhappiness, and we must always feel true and sincere love in our lives. The kind that overwhelms you and fills you with unexpected emotions. The kind that makes you wake up in the morning thinking of the person you love and knowing they're thinking of you. The kind that keeps you physically distant but united in heart and soul. If this isn't there, that journey isn't for us. We need to get off the train and do it as soon as possible, before the right one can pass by us without stopping.

Love gone. This is very complicated. Here, we need to regain all the strength necessary to be able to love ourselves enough to understand that that story is over and we can't hold on to an idea that belongs to the past. The end of a marriage, a cohabitation, an engagement, or even a simple relationship isn't a failure. It's important to keep this firmly in mind because it's the first obstacle we impose on ourselves. We've spent a part of our lives together with that person, but now it's time to close and move on. Missing someone, especially in long-term relationships, is often dictated by habit. Not setting the table for that person anymore makes you feel empty, just like not seeing the toothbrush in the glass or not having someone to plan your Sunday with. Missing a goodnight kiss or the complicity in preparing breakfast in the morning is a loss. Missing the daily phone call and the chat before bed. Often, this is what's missing. An idea of family, of a couple, of shared daily life. But this isn't love. Love is missing the breaths, kisses, hugs, smiles, gestures, and words that only that person could give you. Talk to yourself: if the emotions are missing and the love is no longer reciprocated, you know what to do; If, on the other hand, you're missing daily routines, then work on your habits and incorporate new ones into your life. The first few days are difficult, but give yourself a month or so, and you'll find yourself setting the table, counting the right number of guests, without even thinking about who's missing. The idea of love and happiness shared with another person can be rebuilt with something new. But we must be ready to welcome it...

And finally, if you're missing places and countries near or far, well, go... take a trip to recapture the wonderful emotions they bring you, or move if you think your life could be better elsewhere.

LONELINESS IS A PUNISHMENT FOR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE?

Loneliness is not a punishment, it is a gift. Sitting alone is where the magic happens. It is in those moments of silence that you listen to your inner whispers and discover inner peace. You are learning to truly love your own company, and this journey is going to be powerful.

We all write our thoughts on social media, we intend to let the public that follows us know, whether it is populated by many and unknown individuals who have chosen us only because we are handsome men or beautiful women, that we suffer from this loneliness and express the need to escape from it without actually finding the virtual thread that allows us to get out of the labyrinth.

Often choices are made, real or virtual, with the aim of distancing those who are chronic disturbers, or those who write "I love you" to every woman or man they meet on social media. Harmful love because it does not exist. Getting attached to someone who doesn't fill your life is the biggest mistake there is, often the cause of divorces and separations with great pain to be taken into account regarding the children that arise from such unions, even if temporary - we will find out later that they are - ends in themselves but decidedly useless because they acquire the idea of ​​loneliness.

Even surrounding yourself with real or virtual friends on social media does not make us lose happiness, because each of them has a life of their own already marked, participates, maybe jokes with us, but still remains isolated from our worries and in fact isolates us even more.

What to do?

It's okay if loneliness makes you sad, these are valid feelings, but also temporary. Sometimes feeling isolated can be an opportunity to reflect on the types of connections we really need, consider that often you are not the only one to feel lonely, especially if you have joined people with whom you thought you could share your life and instead they take it over for their own benefit. It means that you haven't met all the people who will love and support you yet or maybe you've just crossed paths with them and trivially without getting to know them better, you've eliminated them or pushed them away from you. 

If going out and finding a sense of community is the last thing you want to do right now, that's absolutely right but be merciful and patient with yourself, you are unique and you deserve to be surrounded by people who truly recognize and celebrate it, not just because you're famous and hanging out with you opens all the doors or leads to large amounts of undeserved money, but because you should really count for something to them. 

There's someone out there waiting to find a friend like you, who's been following you for a long time, who never misses an opportunity to dream of a life with you, who always talks about you and gives themselves the strength to move forward dreaming of you. Don't underestimate that person, it's them you really need, they want you not because you're beautiful or famous, rich or poor, but because they have vibes and emotions for you that they don't feel with anyone else. 

Let go of the useless and false idea that no one cares about you, sometimes our loneliness can be what pushes us towards deep and meaningful bonds, the true love that has not yet arrived, and it does not matter if you are in your second, third or fourth marriage to realize that you have considered wrongly how to achieve happiness, you can always learn to treat yourself with the same love and affection that you desire from another person. You must behave with others in a way that they feel your presence and truly suffer your absence to the point of ardently wishing to be able to even just look you in the eyes.

Sometimes you may be misunderstood, but the right people will always understand you. Remember that even platonic relationships can be characterized by depth and emotional intimacy.   Take advantage of that time spent in apparent solitude that allows you to learn and grow as a person and you should not feel like a burden if you want the people in your life to show up for you in the best possible way. 

If your current circle does not satisfy you, you can look for new connections, your value is not determined by your sentimental situation, being your own best friend is a true talent and there is no better time to practice than when you feel hurt when someone disappoints us, even when we know it comes from a mistake of yours. Human beings are prone to making mistakes, everyone does, the important thing is to recognize that you have made a mistake and try to get out of an unpleasant situation that saddens you and causes loneliness. 

Prioritize friendships that make you feel good and be grateful for the people in your life who allow you to be yourself without excuses. Loneliness won’t last forever, but you will get through it too. 

Feeling lonely shouldn’t mean accepting less than you normally would or compromising your values, bonds don’t have to be deep and long-lasting to be meaningful and don’t underestimate the power of casual acquaintances maybe even through social media, even the one who seemed annoying or opportunistic could turn out to be precious to you.

Un burino alla Casa Bianca

C’è un aspetto di questo incontro che passerà alla Storia che in pochi stanno considerando. A me che ci lavoro con le lingue e che passo la vita a mediare tra culture mi è parso subito evidente:
l’inglese di Zelensky è buono, ma non è eccellente. 

Ho guardato tutti e 50 minuti. Fatelo anche voi. Farsi un'idea di come stiano le cose è un dovere, oggi più che mai.

Trump esordisce così: “è un onore avere qui il Presidente Zelensky, ci conosciamo da molto tempo e abbiamo lavorato bene in passato e continueremo a farlo, apprezziamo il suo lavoro. Abbiamo parlato con Putin e siamo pronti a una negoziazione”.
Zelensky ricambia, con tono molto sommesso elogia Trump e dice che se riuscirà a fermare Putin, questa cosa dovrebbe essere affissa sulle mura della Casa Bianca. Questo esordio già di per sé preannuncia che Zelensky non crede molto nell’impresa.

Dopodiché Zelensky comincia a mostrare foto dei prigionieri ucraini per mostrare quanto sia cattivo Putin.
Trump continua a insistere che lavoreranno per il “cessate il fuoco”, Zelensky continua a dire che sarà impossibile, perché Putin non manterrà la parola.
Trump dice che con lui, invece, Putin manterrà la parola.

Ora, se io fossi Zelensky, visto che c’è la stampa davanti, e quindi il mondo intero, stringerei la mano di Trump, mi direi fiducioso sul suo operato, saluterei e andrei via.
Invece no. Purtroppo l’incontro va avanti.
Zelensky dice che anche con Trump, in passato, Putin non ha mantenuto la parola. Che per ben 25 volte, Putin ha firmato accordi che non ha rispettato.

Da qui in poi si peggiora soltanto. Zelensky comincia uno sproloquio infinito di parecchi minuti in un inglese che peggiora sempre di più, accusa Putin di non volere la pace, perché, testualmente “Putin ci odia” e non rispetterà l’accordo con Trump, è una cosa che si può solo sperare. E non rendendosi contro che ha appena dichiarato davanti a tutta la stampa americana che Trump non verrà rispettato, non capendo che quel suo inglese alle orecchie degli americani suona come un grattare sulla lavagna, arriva al delirio affermando che Putin dovrà pagare tutti i danni perché la guerra l’ha cominciata lui.

È finita. La stampa presente comincia a prendere in giro Zelensky. Del perché lo comincino a trattare in quel modo potrei scriverci un trattato di antropologia. Ve lo risparmio dandovi come immagine Christian De Sica che col calzino bucato sale sulla barca dei ricchi.
Zelensky appare d'improvviso così, come un poveraccio venuto col cappello in mano, che vorrebbe però dire agli americani cosa debbono fare.

Non è un caso che addirittura gli chiedano perché non si sia degnato di indossare un abito decente. Persino qua, ad onor del vero, Trump lo difende dicendo che a lui piace molto come sta vestito.
Zelensky si innervosisce e comincia a perdere la bussola.
Diventa tutti contro uno.
Incalzato da vicepresidente Vance, che molto aggressivamente ma a questo punto anche giustamente gli fa presente che si sta provando la diplomazia e che è inutile continuare a dire che Trump non riuscirà, Zelensky risponde con saccenza, chiedendogli se sia mai stato In Ucraina, come a dire “che ne sai tu dei problemi nostri”.

Qui la faccenda diventa personale. Trump sta per perdere la pazienza, Vance a quel punto gli ricorda la partecipazione di Zelensky alla Convention dei democratici durante la campagna elettorale americana.
Il cortocircuito, i 20 secondi diventati celebri, quando Trump cioè interviene e parla di Terza guerra mondiale, accade qui e sono convinto sia avvenuto per il clima instaurato e per una ulteriore incomprensione linguistica.

A proposito della guerra Zelensky dice: “durante una guerra tutti hanno problemi… anche voi ne avrete, ma avete un bell’Oceano…”
Trump (lo interrompe): “non ci dire cosa avremo e cosa sentiremo, non sei nella posizione di saperlo”.

Da adesso in poi sapete già tutto. Zelensky prova a dire che non intendeva dire che l’America avrà problemi, ma che sentiranno anche loro l’effetto della guerra. Non importa. Alle orecchie stanche di Trump e dei presenti è arrivata la frase spocchiosa di Zelensky che sta dicendo al mondo “avrete problemi anche voi”. Certamente Trump è un cafone. Certamente l’atteggiamento di superiorità di certi americani è insopportabile.

Ma Zelensky è stato presuntuoso, semplicemente. O ingenuo. Entrambe due le cose sono preoccupanti.

Sei a casa loro, sei in minoranza, tieni di fronte le telecamere di tutto il mondo, per quale motivo non capisci che è fondamentale che tu esprima tutto quello che vuoi con precisione nella tua lingua madre? Non vai all’incontro più importante della tua vita e della vita del tuo popolo senza avere la certezza di saper gestire il confronto. Chi oggi elogia Zelensky, dicendo che è stato bravissimo a non perdere il controllo davanti alle provocazioni di Trump, non sa di cosa parla.

La mia opinione è che se Trump e Putin trovano un accordo, Zelensky ha finito di fare la star. Magari si è sentito così davanti ai media americani, mentre provava il suo show.

Peccato che questo non fosse il Saturday Night Live.

UCRAINA, CHI GUADAGNA DALLA GUERRA

Avete presente Jens Stoltenberg, il mitico norvegese ex segretario generale della NATO, quel tizio con gli occhialini e il piglio da duro che per due anni e mezzo ha quotidianamente scaldato i cuori occidentali, tutto infervorato per la guerra in Ucraina sottolineando la assoluta necessità di fornirle nuovi armamenti e mettere altre più dure sanzioni alla Russia, specialmente in campo energetico perché – diceva – “La libertà non ha prezzo!”

Mr. Stoltenberg è ora il nuovo Ministro delle Finanze della Norvegia paese che – guarda che combinazione - ha le più vaste riserve di petrolio e gas naturale del continente dopo la Russia e che ha contribuito a compensare parte del crollo delle forniture di Putin a quest’Europa assetata di energia. Altruismo? Non solo visto che se il costo del gas sale sul mercato internazionale chi lo vende ci guadagna e la Norvegia in questi tre anni di guerra di profitti energetici ne ha lucrati, eccome, perché man mano che forzatamente diminuiva la quota di gas russo serviva quello “alternativo”, in primis quello norvegese che in Europa è quasi a portata di mano.

Se fra il 2021 e l’anno scorso gli acquisti di metano scandinavo sono infatti cresciuti, come volume, solo del 5,8% totale (questo secondo la banca dati del Centro studi Bruegel di Bruxelles) il costo di quel gas sul mercato è letteralmente esploso. Siamo passati da una media di 15,9 miliardi di euro di fatturato all’anno (periodo 2016-2020) a un incasso di 74,3 miliardi di euro in media all’anno (tre volte la £finanziaria italiana per un paese che ha un decimo degli abitanti dell’Italia) .

E non c’è poi solo il gas, ma anche il petrolio. La “Equinor” è la società che in Norvegia ha il monopolio del settore ed è controllata per il 67% dallo Stato. Nel quinquennio precedente alla guerra in Ucraina la società ha pagato al governo norvegese 7,2 miliardi per imposte e dividendi, mentre l’anno scorso le imposte sul reddito sono schizzate a 31 miliardi, con 6,1 miliardi di dollari di dividendi, su quasi 10 miliardi di profitti totali.

Insomma, la Norvegia ha guadagnato davvero bene dall’aggressione russa in Ucraina e se per qualche trattativa fosse improvvisamente scoppiata la pace, addio guadagni. Quindi l’aggressione di Putin ha almeno fatto felice qualcuno - oltre ai fabbricanti e venditori di armi - ed è ben curioso che a capo della NATO ci fosse proprio l’esponente di un paese che dalla guerra ha guadagnato più di tutti.

Peccato poi che la Norvegia dopo aver guadagnato più di 100 miliardi “netti” ne abbia poi destinati in aiuti all’Ucraina – e questo dato è del Kiel Institute for International Economics - solo 3,5 miliardi, davvero miseri spiccioli rispetto ai lauti profitti.

In ogni paese essere il Ministro delle Finanze – chiedete a Giorgetti – è un mestiere infame, stretti tra spese obbligatorie e pregresse, limiti europei, indici di indebitamento da rispettare… Beato Stoltenberg che da ministro di problemi ne avrà invece molto meno visto che, numeri alla mano, ogni norvegese ha guadagnato dalla guerra in Ucraina oltre 20.000 dollari a testa. Insomma, la guerra è un ottimo investimento finchè dura, quindi … facciamolo durare!

PS ma tutto ciò non configura un gigantesco conflitto di interessi, almeno moralmente?

Il Salame, storia e origini

Salame: la storia dalle origini del nome alla sua eccellenza

In origine, presso i romani, era insicia e salumen, nel Medioevo divenne salamem e salacca, per poi evolversi in salame per gli italiani e infine salami, in quasi tutte le lingue del mondo. Sono questi i nomi che nel tempo si sono succeduti per indicare il principe dei salumi, generalmente composto di carne suina scelta, macinata prima, speziata in vari modi poi, infine insaccata nel budello e lasciata stagionare. E ognuno di quei nomi (eccetto insicia da cui deriva però insaccato) contiene il riferimento al sale, che per il salame non rappresenta solo un ingrediente, ma una tecnica di conservazione. In realtà, non è raro che la vicenda di un nome si indentifichi con l’oggetto che descrive, ma nel caso del salame è particolarmente vero. 

Ed è una storia antichissima di saperi, sapori, contaminazioni culturali, tradizioni e innovazioni che in gran parte accompagna la storia delle nostre abitudini alimentari e della nostra civiltà nel suo complesso. In particolare, di un paese: l’Italia. In Italia, infatti, non solo si producono le più numerose varietà di salami al mondo, ma è anche dove quel tipo di preparazione ha origine e dove è diventato arte della tavola. Un’arte raffinatasi nel tempo, fatta di gusto e tecnica, che spesso associata ai suoi compagni d’elezione, il pane e il vino - il quale talvolta ne è anche ingrediente -, richiama sfere più intime della vita come famiglia e convivialità.

Anche Ulisse mangiava salumi

E l’origine del salame è talmente italiana da affondare le radici della sua tradizione al tempo degli Etruschi e dei Romani, esplodere e consolidarsi nel Medio-evo, per poi differenziarsi di località in località, di campanile in campanile, dando vita a decine di preparazioni diverse, grazie a tecniche di macinatura, spezie, stagionature tra loro alternative dalle quali si sono sviluppate le attuali tipicità locali. E allo stesso tempo è una storia tanto intimamente europea da conservare tracce importanti dell’incontro tra latini e germani.

Ma procediamo con ordine e senza fretta. Il viaggio è lungo e pieno di curiosità e attraversa i millenni e un bel pezzo di Mediterraneo. Infatti, ad essere rigorosi, prima di Etruschi e Romani, già in epoca preistorica ci sono le prime esperienze di conservazione e lavorazione della carne. Ma il sale ancora non è usato: al processo di essiccazione si provvede o con il calore del sole o con quello della fiamma viva e del fumo. Il salto in avanti avviene con gli egiziani: appaiono per la prima volta dei prodotti simili agli insaccati odierni che pare fossero apprezzati anche alla corte del faraone, tanto che se ne trova una testimonianza sulla tomba di Ramsete III. Il primo a scrivere di salumi è però Omero. Siamo un paio di secoli dopo il 1000 a.C., e in alcuni passi dell’Odissea si fa riferimento a un composto a base di sangue e di grasso.

Non è, però, ancora propriamente salame come lo intendiamo oggi, almeno. Come non è forse salame quella lucanica che viene talvolta menzionata da Aristofane molti secoli dopo – siamo nel IV secolo prima di Cristo - nelle sue commedie e di cui sembra rimasto intatto solo il nome. A dirla tutta, siamo nel campo delle supposizioni e delle ricostruzioni circa gli ingredienti e le tipologie di prodotto, ma una cosa è certa: fin dall’antichità gli uomini lavorano la carne di maiale con varie tecniche per conservarla a lungo e goderne a distanza le caratteristiche e il gusto.

SPQR, la storia diventa romana

Per avere testimonianze più certe occorre spostarsi, appunto, in Italia e attendere qualche secolo, quando entrano in scena prima gli Etruschi e poi i Romani e dove probabilmente gran parte della storia del salame si gioca lungo quella via Salaria che collega Roma con l’Adriatico proprio per trasportare l’elemento essenziale per la lavorazione e conservazione degli alimenti: il sale. Ma la carne in quei salumi, pare, sia solo cotta: occorrerà molto tempo ancora perché la base del salame diventi la carne di suino cruda. Di questo, si ritrova testimonianza anche in Catone il Censore, che dedica al tema della salatura della carne suina alcuni passi di un suo famosissimo trattato, il De Agricoltura del II secolo a.C.

Cotta o cruda che sia, i romani non sembrano farsene un cruccio e i loro poeti (Orazio per dirne uno) in molte opere citano con entusiasmo quelle preparazioni, in genere riservate alle feste e ai banchetti. In quest’epoca i romani chiamano i salumi ancora insicia (che richiama l’insaccamento della carne) o botulus, Solo nella tarda epoca latina si affaccia il nome salumen, che avrà però bisogno ancora di qualche secolo per diventare il nome esclusivo delle carni suine insaccate e stagionate: al momento indica tutti gli alimenti lavorati con il sale.

In ogni caso, il salame è già diventato una consolidata tradizione italica che si è diffusa nel resto dell’Impero. Non solo: la lavorazione della carne di maiale sviluppa in Italia anche altre specialità come il prosciutto, che pare abbia sedotto Annibale, e la mortadella, nell’allora Bonomia, ovvero Bologna. La passione dei romani per i salumi si ritrova ancora oggi nella toponomastica capitolina: il nome di via Panisperna - sede del gruppo di fisici guidati da Enrico Fermi - significa pane e prosciutto, rispettivamente panis e perna in latino.

Un salame barbaramente buono

Roma decade e l’Impero si trasforma in tante entità nazionali, di stampo cristiano e latino-barbarico. L’Italia, dopo gli Ostrogoti, diventa la casa dei Longobardi che provano a unificarla in un solo regno. Di mezzo c’è il Papato e quell’unione non “s’ha da fare”. Ma i Longobardi uniscono l’Italia in modo diverso: sotto il loro regno si diffondono lungo la penisola dei procedimenti che rinnovano l’ormai secolare tradizione della lavorazione della carne. E la vera novità è che si trova il modo di trattare e conservare in sicurezza anche la carne cruda.

Con l’intensificarsi del consumo di maiale, che allo stato brado è molto diffuso nei boschi europei, iniziano a profilarsi le zone a maggiore vocazione salumaia, che forse non a caso, coincidono con quelle a maggiore presenza longobarda: Sannio, Umbria, Pianura padana, in particolare Lombardia ed Emilia. In quest’epoca inizia, così, a emergere in maniera più spinta la tendenza alla differenziazione delle lavorazioni e degli ingredienti. I salumifici dell’epoca sono i conventi e le grange – la versione medioevale delle aziende agricole: è lì che convergono le carni provenienti dal circondario.

Per indicare il salame si usa ancora la generica parola latina salumen. Ma i tempi corrono veloci e, tra alti e bassi, dopo il Mille il consumo di carne suina e di pesce nordico aumentano. Tanto da rendere necessario distinguere il baccalao – ovvero il merluzzo salato – dalla carne di maiale. Si afferma il nome salamem, affiancato da salacca. Secondo alcuni, l’originaria comunanza del nome spiegherebbe perché nell’italiano familiare sia salame sia baccalà indichino bonariamente uno sciocco. La salatura, infatti, conferirebbe quella rigidità tipica dei meno intelligenti, conservandone l’intima bontà.

❤️

A

Her name starts with A, that name is a constant in my life, 

not because of previous girlfriends but because of the evocation that name carries.

I hope you find your serenity one day. May you learn to look inside yourself and make your insecurities your strengths, fears and courage. I hope that one day, far, far away, you'll find that a person capable of making you mature, grow, understand, know. And I hope that person is myself. I truly loved you, honey, more than you loved me and this, unfortunately, is a bill that only I can pay.

I wanted her like I've never wanted anyone before. I wanted her against all common sense, against all pride, against all reticence, hesitation, preconception, second thoughts, lucidity. I wanted her so much, too much, I wanted her more than she wanted me, and maybe she never wanted me, but she was there and continued to buzz around me, of course - I wanted her even more, to fill this obvious distance between us. I wanted her and I still want her, that's the problem. I want her even though she treated me like a "weird" because deep down I know I was strange.

I want her even though she's gone from my life, even though there's no longer a future together and maybe it wasn't even there before, but it might seem, even though she's dating others, even though everyone else — potential boyfriends, potential men who will win at the roulette wheel life and they will be able to make her fall in love like I was unable to do in eighteen months by giving her everything, even the benefit of the doubt which in reality was already a certainty; certainty of having become entangled in a sterile, counterproductive, burnt-out story.

I want her so much that I learned to tell myself: to clarify, to vent, to calm myself, I learned to tell about us, about her, therefore about myself, a new me that I discovered day after day and hour after hour, re- building me after her mere presence - but even more so her absence - had shattered me, approaching me in an indifferent, superficial or rather, weird way - a word she likes a lot.

There is no future, I know it. We will never be a couple (but always never say never is the mantra). Yet I would trust her. She will never fall in love with me because, as a wise man said with that brutal honesty that only those familiar with life have: you have given yourself too much, she already knows you, she has lost interest. To paraphrase, I'm trite. The truth is that she doesn't know me at all, I would like to point that out. But she didn't want to do it, I would like to clarify this too. I, on the other hand, had to get to know myself again. I had to introduce myself again, new, unpublished, unknown, like a distant relative who you have never seen before but to whom you are linked by sharing a surname, blood, family trees.

I had to present myself with this baggage, these new experiences: hello, I'm the new you who only retains appearance and generality of the old you; I bring you new doubts, I bring you old wounds with new pain, I bring you your insecurities - the usual ones, did you by any chance think you had overcome them? — and the conflicts, the conflicts against the usual you and the new unknown — you will not win, so you better make him a friend, this unknown enemy of yourself that you cannot defeat, you better learn to live with this unknown troublemaker who chases an unrequited love and throws himself into the void against all common sense.

She was my void. In everything. The leap into the void. The emptiness in my stomach. The void of substance and content and feelings and perspectives and investments. She gave me a little that seemed like a lot, and with that much that was in fact little I was reassured that I had achieved peace of mind and it would be an understatement to talk about giving or donating. She gave me so little that sometimes I think I even dreamed it. She gave me, for my perspective, for the nothing I had given up until that time - that, in the evident imbalance of the relationship, I remained anchored to my scale while she, in the lightness of hers, was already flying towards new destinations, other stories, new interests, more tantalizing pleasures.

And then, let's face it, she's not the one who's strange. She is the representation that most conforms to the average Vietnamese woman - interested, shrewd, straight forwarded, perhaps apparently superficially and falsely modern but internally linked to the values of the traditional family, but only in words, then in reality I didn't know or perhaps I deliberately ignored, unable to invent scenarios reliable ones that could justify my way of thinking about her. Was it me who was stupid? Am I the one who believed her words, who saw sincerity in them, who fondled her when perhaps she should have been slapped to make her see reason and recognize our relationship? I should have helped her to be found when we had to get lost, to be there when I had to leave. 

Love is an ironic twist of fate. And a sarcastic joke about life. I thought she was the one after our first pseudo phone conversation with Zalo? It was there, in those hours condensed in a pleasant conversation with an almost stranger whose photographic features I remembered well but not the look, not the look because we had not yet looked intensely into each other's eyes, that I understood, I hoped, I believed that finally after so much wandering in vain, finally after so much waiting, I had finally been rewarded: finally I said, her. And I felt it was mine from the first time we went out, I felt it was part of my life, like a phantom limb: it wasn't there, but I felt it. It was there, we had already met in another time and another space, it was destiny that had told us, inspiration from the oriental idea of love, perhaps perfect or imperfect but it suited both of us perfectly: we just had to meet, it was just that the effort and once made, here we are.

But we weren't here. Or rather she was there, there, everywhere, with the gift of transmutation of those who do not anchor themselves to any shore. It wasn't mine, it was hers, of herself, of her past, of her limits, of her preconceptions, of her present of which I was part to a minimal extent - an ephemeral, unrealistic, surmountable, set aside extent - of her future of which I would not have done but part, I just didn't know. It was hers, of herself and of the interest she never had in me or maybe she did but she never told me openly, of the superficiality with which she treated me, apparent love, of the lies she foisted on me, and I reconstructed with unfailing sagacity, the fruit of my eidetic memory, which was once called photographic, of the apparent respect it has granted me, of the lack of education with which it moves in the world and with which I have allowed it to move in mine and with which I myself have downgraded, degraded, devalued to an incredible and smoky lover like a reflection for his luminous image, the result of skilful exercises in creativity.

She belongs to herself and it is right, very right, sacrosanct that she is, she belongs to herself. I just wanted her to share with me part of her belonging, of her existence: this is what I wanted. The truth is that someone who wants to leave and travel and discover cannot be forced to love and stay - even if that departure then becomes a return, even if the journey then becomes the road home: even if she returns, she doesn't stay - she leaves she will go again, and she has done so countless times, she has done so now too, the last one, in which she ideally turned to the web, almost running away, she smiled at me aware that we would never see each other again.

Maybe we won't see each other again but I don't know this yet, and neither does she, because perhaps I will no longer have the courage to flay my soul to discover her heart. I will no longer have the courage to believe in a future that doesn't exist and to delude myself into what doesn't exist and what I thought was. I don't want to give her the time needed to understand if he is the right one for her. And if not him, another? One without a face, without a name for me, but with a precise physiognomy for her: money as a defined and constant presence, a lot of money, no more than I have, but she wanted much more, my soul, to live with in a way that I cannot, I have a son and values ​​that I cannot escape, not because distance had been created, of course, but above all emotionality. Will I not have the courage to face a bastard, but the true reality: she does not want me and I do not want to allow myself the luxury of collapsing when she tells me that someone else has reached the finish line? I won't survive today's, I won't even survive tomorrow's, and then how many others?

I will no longer have courage because everything was exhausted when I persisted in continuing on viscous, slippery ground, on which I fell and got up and fell again: when, aware of defeat, I went to the bottom of the abyss, to the bottom of the the ocean, to touch the lowest point of my existence with my own hands in order to possibly go back up.

I still love you very much honey, I know I wanted to take care of you: of your wounds, of your good eyes, of your insecurities, and also on your securities, of your ambition. I wanted to undermine your superficial frankness only with words. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted and then I had to unhinge my wanted because you didn't want.

Il formaggio a casa mia

Realizzare il formaggio a casa invece che comprarlo al negozio non è risparmiare ma realizzare un sogno. Qualcuno tempo fa mi ha chiesto se era possibile realizzare un formaggio utilizzando varie qualità di latte - latte vaccino, o di capra e pecora nella stessa cagliata - e utilizzare anche scarti di formaggi di diverse qualità. La domanda rimane intelligente quindi una risposta la merita!

Ogni preparazione alimentare è sempre frutto di almeno 2 elementi:

La materia prima e..

Il PROCESSO

Il formaggio si produce sempre con latte, sale (non obbligatorio) e caglio (non obbligatorio), ma anche restando negli ingredienti manca un pezzo fondamentale:

I microrganismi.

Sono davvero pochissimi i formaggi prodotti senza l'intervento di batteri o altri microrganismi, nel 99% dei casi sono fondamentali sia per acidificare la cagliata, sia per fare maturare il formaggio, vedasi il Parmigiano Reggiano (R).

Ma il processo nel complesso è ciò che permette di creare migliaia di formaggi diversi. È possibile scremare il latte o lasciarlo intero. È possibile usare latte pastorizzato o latte crudo. È possibile aggiungere uno starter al latte sottoforma di lattoinnesto, di sieroinnesto, di scottainnesto, di liofilizzato, in forma liquida.. o anche di non usare nessuno starter e lasciare che l'ambiente di lavorazione contamini il latte. 

Si può lasciare acidificare in diverse condizioni per favorire lo sviluppo di alcuni batteri o di altri. Si può scegliere con controllo parziale o assoluto quali batteri e altri starter complementari/accessori utilizzare e questi saranno molta variabilità al prodotto. Poi si può scegliere un tipo o un altro di caglio, lasciarlo agire a temperature e per tempi diversi. Durante la coagulazione si può favorire o meno lo spurgo di siero anche grazie alla rottura della cagliata. 

La cottura della cagliata ha anche un'enorme influenza sul prodotto (l'importante è non portare mai la cagliata ad ebollizione, massimo 95°C). Anche la messa in forma e i possibili ribaltamenti delle forme influiscono, così come le quantità di sale aggiunte a secco o in salamoia e la durata di mantenimento nella salamoia. Infine si apre un ultimo enorme ventaglio di possibilità in funzione del tipo e della durata della stagionatura.

Insomma, gli ingredienti sono pochi, ma già con lo starter diversifichi tantissimo il prodotto che verrà. Considerando poi l'intero processo, capisci che i formaggi che è possibile produrre sono pressoché infiniti.

Un caseificio può produrre virtualmente qualunque formaggio, salvo requisiti dei disciplinari, che comunque stabiliscono se il formaggio può avere quel nome specifico, non se può essere identico ad un formaggio DOP. Ricordo a tutti: siamo andati sulla luna più di mezzo secolo fa': ricreare le condizioni in ogni luogo del mondo per riprodurre un prodotto alimentare tipico è possibile, assolutamente possibile.

L'incredibile varietà di formaggi dipende esclusivamente dalla tecnica usata per produrli, anche se gli ingredienti sono sempre gli stessi:

Il latte di partenza può essere usato crudo e mantenere tutto il suo contenuto naturale di microrganismi, o pastorizzato, quindi senza microrganismi naturalmente presenti

Il latte di partenza può essere usato intero, parzialmente scremato o scremato. Questo porterà a formaggi molto grassi o molto magri

La cagliatura può essere ottenuta con l'uso di caglio o addirittura per acidificazione naturale (l'abbassamento del pH porta a risultati simili a quelli dell'azione enzimatica del caglio)

Il caglio può avere un diverso rapporti di pepsina e chimosina, dando risultati diversi e può essere liquido (più puro) o in pasta, con ancora le lipasi gastriche dell'animale, dando lipolisi nel formaggio e sprigionando diversi aromi a carico degli acidi grassi a catena corta

La cagliatura può durare molto o molto poco

La rottura della cagliata può essere fatta lasciando pezzi molto grossi o molto piccoli, fino alla dimensione di chicchi di riso. Più la cagliata è rotta in piccoli frammenti e più questa perderà i suoi liquidi, risultando in formaggi più asciutti e consistenti

La temperatura durante la cagliatura può essere molto variabile, avendo anch'essa effetti sulla consistenza finale del formaggio

Durante la messa in forma della cagliata questa può essere premuta con forza per rilasciare molto siero o può non essere affatto premuta

Al latte in cagliatura possono venire aggiunte (e spesso avviene) delle colture starter di microrganismi come batteri e muffe. L'incredibile varietà di colture starter esistenti può portare a formaggi dai sapori molto diversi, alla formazione di muffe superficiali o interne e anche alla formazione dei buchi tipici di alcuni formaggi per la formazione di gas da parte dei batteri innestati

Prima della stagionatura le forme possono essere lasciate anche molte ore o giorni in salamoia (acqua salata), salando il formaggio, contribuendo alla formazione della crosta e possibilmente disinfettandola, e facilitando la disidratazione del formaggio

Prima della stagionatura la forma può essere forata anche in moltissimi punti da degli aghi sterili. Questo facilita l'ingresso di aria e ossigeno nella forma facilitando enormemente lo sviluppo di muffe interne, è quello che accade nei formaggi erborinati come il gorgonzola, lo stilton o il roquefort.

La stagionatura può durare pochi giorni o più di 2 anni. Immagina quante differenze possono esserci tra un formaggio di 2 giorni e uno di 36 mesi. Inoltre può avvenire in un range di umidità e di temperatura, e di circolazione d'aria

Durante la stagionatura la crosta può essere lavata periodicamente, raschiata o lasciata intatta. Anche questo rende ogni formaggio diverso dagli altri.

Questa carrellata non esaustiva e non precisa dovrebbe darti un idea su come sia possibile ottenere infiniti formaggi diversi partendo dallo stesso latte.

IL FALLIMENTO DELL’ ONU

Mai come quest’anno l’affollato show dell’Assemblea Generale dell’ONU sta confermando a New York che - a dispetto dei politici-attori che si contendono il red carpet e il microfono sotto gli obiettivi delle TV – il grande ed elegante “mondo blu” del Palazzo di Vetro non è stato in grado di partorire nemmeno un topolino.

Neppure uno degli scontri in atto nel mondo vede infatti l’ONU attore principale di mediazione o almeno compartecipe alle iniziative per il ripristino della pace: in Libano i razzi si incrociano sulla testa dei nostri soldati del contingente UNIIFIL che sostanzialmente non toccano palla, in Ucraina le forze ONU non sono nemmeno nominate, in Myanmar ci si ammazza a volontà con l’ONU totalmente assente, ma che non è neppure capace di dire la parola “fine” anche alle troppe crisi politiche locali.

Nessuno tiene più il conto delle miriadi di “risoluzioni” man mano approvate (e non parliamo poi di quelle respinte con diritto di veto) dall’Assemblea Generale o dal Consiglio di Sicurezza tanto che i dittatori o i colonnelli di turno continuano indisturbati a violare i principi fondamentali della “Carta” senza neppure più preoccuparsi di salvare la faccia. 

L’Onu (che peraltro è travolto dai debiti dei paesi inadempienti, che non riescono o non vogliono perfino pagare le quote annuali) è veramente in crisi e non va meglio con le sue Agenzie di vario ordine e grado che dovrebbero alleviare le sofferenze dei civili ma – dove ci riescono – portano a  risultati costi-benefici davvero inquietanti anche perché alle spalle dello “show” è nata, cresciuta e si è ben radicata una ressa di delegazioni, funzionari, ambasciatori e mantenuti vari che pesano come macigni sulle casse comuni, ma molto spesso senza dare concreti risultati.

Il vernissage dell’Assemblea plenaria è comunque da anni un “must” per i potenti della terra (salvo quelli inseguiti da mandati di cattura internazionali, non si sa mai) che arrivano, parlano per i pochi minuti loro assegnati nel disinteresse generale, salutano e se ne vanno rigorosamente senza neppure ascoltare quello che hanno da dire gli oratori successivi. Alle spalle dei leader stuoli di portaborse, diplomatici, assistenti, parlamentari che approfittano di fine settembre per qualche giorno di shopping a New York.

Resta davvero poco dello spirito originario dell’ONU, il valore almeno morale delle sue decisioni ha perso d’importanza anche per i “grandi” non vogliono cambiare neppure i regolamenti e si mantengono stretto il loro diritto di veto per bloccarsi a vicenda andando spesso contro la logica e soprattutto la giustizia per i propri interessi.

D'altronde i quasi 200 paesi partecipanti sono tutti equiparati tra loro e teoricamente San Marino e le Isole Barbados contano come gli USA al momento del voto: principio di equità e democrazia, ma che si inceppa poi al momento di concretizzare qualcosa.

Anche la Meloni è venuta, ha parlato (in buon inglese, un bel passo avanti rispetto a troppi premier italiani alla Renzi che neppure lo spiccicavano o si facevano ridere dietro per il loro accento) ha ricevuto un premio dalle mani di Elon Musk e se ne è tornata a Roma sull’aereo di stato. Biden ha invece salutato tutti con commozione: comunque andrà il 5 novembre, per lui era l’ultima sua uscita internazionale ed appare già come l’ombra di sé stesso.  Umanamente colpisce, ma pensare che fino a due mesi fa era lui il candidato democratico resta davvero sconcertante.

 

Thoughts of love dedicated to an Angel

I don't love you as if you were a salt rose, a topaz or an arrow of carnations that spread fire, I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. 

I love you like a plant that does not flower and carries within itself, hidden, the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love the dense aroma that rises from the earth lives darkly in my body. 

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride, I love you like this because 

I don't know how to love otherwise than in this way in which I am not and you are not, so close that your hand on my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my sleep.

LET IT GO

Don't go back to where you were happy one day, it's a trap of melancholy, everything will have changed and nothing will be the same as before, not even you.


Don't look for the same landscapes, nor the same people, time plays dirty and will have taken care of destroying everything that once made you happy.


Don't go back to the place where you were happy one day, always keep it in your memory, as it was, but don't go back.


Life goes on and there are new roads to travel… new places to visit and other people waiting for you. ❤️

A forever

You left a mark on my mind I can never erase. 

You took a piece from my heart that no one can ever replace. 

No one could replace you. 

You're the eye in the storm, you're the piece I'm trying to find. 

When I'm sad, when I think, when I work, when I walk all alone through the sunny streets of Saigon or in the shopping malls, you're the only one on my mind. 

I will search for you until I find you again. 

I know you know it. I don't know what else to do. 

I lost the chance to love you, you are the one who rejects me, you have eliminated me from your mind as well as from your life. 

I have been alone in my dreams, but I have always looked for you, I need love in this place, you are the only one I knew, the only one who is capable of repairing my loneliness. 

I let myself be carried away by the wind, I hope it carries me into your arms. 

The only place where I am safe, only you can heal my scars

The only one to save me I'm walking on the deep blue sea

I will look for your lighthouse to lead me. 

I don't want to lose my love for you.

Trains are passing many times, not once!

There are trains that are better to take the second time they pass.

They told us many times that trains only come once in a lifetime and, therefore, we took that opportunity when we weren't ready. In this way, we get disappointment, frustration and a bitter memory of a journey that, in another moment, would have been wonderful.

These trains arrive full of hope, of opportunities, of progress for our lives, and letting them pass seems like a luxury that we cannot afford. An unwritten law tells us that if we do so, we are doomed to failure.

Fortunately, this is just the umpteenth result of another of those irrational beliefs that our society has in common, which do nothing but generate anxiety and suffering. We have been taught to pay attention to any passing train that brings us closer to our future, even if the obstacles this entails are greater than the tools we possess in the short term.

Nothing is irreversible

Life is a journey full of trains and, every day, there is a new station where you can choose which of these to take. Decisions in which the sacrifices are as important as the tickets you buy. We often think that if that golden opportunity comes along, and we let it slip away, we won't be able to have another one; this is the result of illogical, unreal thinking.

We live in a world where when one door closes, five open, and when an opportunity is missed, lessons are learned and learned, better ones presented, and so on, throughout our lives. Whatever age you are, therefore, you can continue to bet on changes.

Few things are irreversible, fewer than what we believe. Think about it: if you didn't seize an opportunity because you didn't feel ready, because you didn't realize it was there or because it wasn't the right time, don't worry, because the world doesn't end nor do other trains stop passing by.

We believe that "the love or work of our life" exists, but it is not true: there are loves, people with whom we get along more or less and better or worse jobs, but nothing more than this. The problem is that we believe that our happiness depends on it.

We are the ones who use the qualifier "of my life" and, for this reason, we feel bad when something slips away. You must keep in mind that everyone, absolutely all of us, have missed that "train" at times, but we survived, we learned something and we took the next one, which came full of exciting surprises.

Sometimes we even got to thinking: luckily I let that train pass, because the second one was even better.

Trains returning to the station

These trains you believe have left forever will return to their departure station. Maybe with other passengers on board, maybe with new things to offer you: new routes, different landscapes, but they will certainly come back.

It is important so that you do not fall into demotivation, so that you know that life is cyclical and changeable, that nothing is decisive, that things are not black or white: you get on board or you lose it forever.

You must realize, therefore, that at any moment, in any corner, your train can pass, one of the many that you will take during your life. What is really important is that you are careful and do not give up.

It is essential not to give up, to continue to persevere, to continue knocking on every door, without anything stopping us: neither fear nor age nor limiting thoughts.

Perseverance is the mother of success and what we don't know, in reality, is that we are the trains.

Love you never lose...

Love you never lose... Even if she does not call you. Although she lives her fears. Even if you think of anything else. Even if you leave off without saying anything... 

When you love you never stop loving. It is always a trace. A trail. A word. What then over time become tenderness and complicity...

 

So why even today this jolt? Why the sudden urge to stay there forever? So... suddenly... like a storm in the middle of August... 

It's not easy to leave and go back, change language, quickly close a door to open another, only an illusion, a door open for her will remain forever. Hope or maybe you want to, or do not want, you want to stay but you have to leave. Do not just hop on a plane and fly away to delete everything and act as if nothing had happened... it happened, I fell in love and I can not pretend nothing has happened, she is always there, before my eyes, like a sun beam or a star which shows me the way. I can not avoid, I can not pretend that there was nothing. The mind says to forget but the heart does not listen and continues on his way. 

I don't want to woke up where I don't want to be. Now I'm still here, portrays of two worlds and two passions, split in two, as if everything is possible, as if it were enough to close your eyes to find the moment of grace before they go away forever...

Do not just stay far to clear everything and act as if nothing had happened ... It's not enough. Because if something happened once it happened forever; and is no longer in my power to push back her in anything, or "as if it had never been." And yet I can reconsider it, watch it (or re-watch it) in a different light, the light of how I am "now", which is a light different from that I was or we were at the time. This doesn't mean that watching it in a different light doesn't make me suffer any more, but it will be a pain differently, because "understands" that already lived, so much so that even more of us are the same, even if we delude ourselves to "be still together"

The distance hurts me, makes me suffer, like the silence. Each raindrop is a tear of happiness to have known you, but also of sadness for not being there with you anymore.

"Memory is a cruel mistress with which we must all learn to dance."

(The Forgotten Garden - Kate Morton)

Missing you

“Missing each other is already belonging” I read this morning on Facebook. A quote from the writer Lailly Daolio that led me to some reflections that I would like to share with you.

Feeling of lack

The feeling of lack is one of those we feel most ardently in our lives. We miss a loved one, a friend, a parent or a child but we also miss countries and places, situations and feelings. Is it belonging? Yes, what we are missing is certainly part of our life and our existence. It was or is.

The feeling of emptiness generated by lack makes us understand the strength of a feeling and the value a person has in our life. The shortcomings related to the family are self-explanatory: undoubtedly the absence of a child or a parent are very strong feelings we all feel for good reasons - a departure or a journey - and for less beautiful reasons - mourning or separation due to events, a voluntary separation of one of the parties – in any case it is a shortcoming.

Loss

The loss of the loved one is intense and wonderful. It could mark us a partner away for work but also a lover who we cannot see or hear. The person who decided to interrupt the stretch of life together is missing. Equally important is the lack of places - where we lived or where we were born - or of feelings and situations - lack of love, friendship or sense of family -.

How can we live with this sense of emptiness generated by lack? Of course it depends on the situation. If we talk about the loss of a deceased person we must necessarily feel pain and then let go of this feeling. The person who is no longer with us has left something very important in our lives. If we come to miss them, therefore, let's not forget the beautiful moments we spent together.

Every now and then let's take refuge in those memories, in his words, in his teachings or in his hugs but let's do it with a smile and not with the pain of no longer having them. I quote this phrase from Saint Augustine I love very much: "Let us not despair at having lost a loved one, but let us rejoice at having had them".

If we miss a person in the family because they have decided to end the relationship - unfortunately this also happens - then we owe it to ourselves to metabolize this abandonment and then let go of any feelings of anxiety, fear and anger associated with it. Negative feelings don't make us feel good and don't even bring us back to reconnecting with that finished relationship. Let's avoid crowding our minds with questions about how it is possible for a father to abandon a son or a mother to leave a daughter in difficulty.

We can never know the aspects of that person's mind. What we can do is love each other, seek contact at the beginning - especially because he will make us feel like we have tried everything - and then dedicate ourselves to our happiness. There is happiness even without those people. It exists if we want it strongly, if we cultivate it, if we look for it in what is next to us. In most situations it happens that too focused on understanding why that relationship ended we lose sight of the wonder and gifts that life has given us. A person who loves us, a child, health, the magic of emotions.

Love

And now we come to love. Missing your loved one is the first step to understanding that person has true value for us, they belong to us. We miss her looks, her words, her messages, her smile, her caresses and hugs. We miss her and we find her in every song, in every film, in every word read in a book.

It's like that, it's part of love. What to do? We must rejoice if this feeling is part of a relationship that works and that does not make us miss the feeling of being the most loved person in the world. Even if the lack generates a void, the awareness of being part of one whole with the other person must make us feel good.


Especially if we know – and we always know – that the other person misses us too. Let's think back to the last hug or kiss and stay there for a while... smiling and enjoying those wonderful sensations. This helps us overcome the lack until the next hug.

If the relationship is not reciprocated, we need to change our attitude, a nice turning point and we start again. Let's not stop where there is no happiness for us. It is not fair to ourselves and the life we have been given.

We don't deserve unhappiness and we must always feel true and sincere love in our lives.
The one that overwhelms you and makes you unexpectedly emotional. The one that makes you get up in the morning thinking about the person you love and knowing that they are thinking of you. The one that keeps you physically distant but united in heart and soul.

If this is not there, that journey is not made for us. We have to get off the train and do it as soon as possible, before the right one can pass alongside us without stopping.

The finished love. This is very complicated. Here we need to recover all the strength necessary to be able to love ourselves to the point of understanding that that story is over and we cannot keep ourselves anchored to an idea that belongs to the past. The end of a marriage, a cohabitation, an engagement or a simple relationship is not a failure.

It is important to impress this in our minds because it is the first block we impose on ourselves. We made a piece of life together with that person but now it's time to close and look beyond. The lack, especially in the case of long relationships, is often dictated by habit. No longer setting the table for that person makes you feel empty, just like no longer seeing the toothbrush in the glass or not having a person to organize Sunday with.

The kiss goodnight or the complicity in preparing breakfast in the morning is a lack. Missing the daily phone call and chatting before going to sleep. Well, this is often what's missing. An idea of family, of couple, of shared everyday life. But this is not love. 

Love is missing breaths, kisses, hugs, smiles, gestures and words that only that person could give us. Talk to yourself: if emotions are missing and love is no longer reciprocated, you know what to do; If, however, daily gestures are missing, then work on habits and insert new ones into your life. The first few days are difficult but give yourself a month and you will find yourself setting the table counting the right guests without even thinking about who is missing.

The idea of love and happiness shared with another person can be reconstructed with the new. But we must be ready to welcome it…

Places

And, finally, if you miss places and countries near or far. Well, go... take a trip to recover the wonderful emotions that they give you or move if you think that your life elsewhere could be better.

Banh mi - Sandwiches ideas

This is a classic Italian panino, or called also "tramezzino" with salami, boiled carrots, mortadella slices, tomato and artichokes in oil, salad. It's a must eat in Italy!  

These are ideas, sometimes they come to me and I try to put them into practice.

Vietnamese sandwich: A world-renowned street food with special flavor

Vietnamese sandwich, or “Banh mi”, is a dear name that has been deeply imprinted in the minds of many Vietnamese people. It has become the pride of the nation and a quintessential representative of Vietnamese cuisine. Going through many ups and downs in history, the Vietnamese sandwich has now crossed the national border and left its mark in the world’s culinary scene.

“Banh mi” is a Vietnamese sandwich that you must try if you are planning for Vietnam travel and tourism. This iconic sandwich has consistently been ranked as one of the best sandwiches in the world. Besides its delicious flavors, let’s find out why this sandwich is so well-liked around the globe.

1. What to know about Vietnamese sandwich?

Origin

In the early 19th century, the French brought baguettes to Gia Dinh (Saigon) to satisfy their culinary demands. In order to bake hot delicious bread to serve the needs of the upper class, they built the first brick-and-mortar bakeries in Vietnam.

This French-origin specialty quickly gained its popularity in Vietnam. That was also when Saigon’s people modified the baguette into a typical Vietnamese type of bread which has a length of only about 30-40 centimeters. Vietnamese baguette is more hollow, the inside is soft while the outside is crispy. This is also the feature that creates the unique identity of Vietnamese bread compared to its Western counterpart. Vietnamese bread has a rustic appearance and unforgettable flavor.

Then, by the hands of talented Vietnamese bakers, Vietnamese bread, which bears the spirit of Vietnamese people, was created. Initially, there were only a few small but very famous bakeries, such as Hoa Ma bread shop, that sold Vietnamese baguette. Then, the bread was gradually modified until it has the current size and length. Experiencing many ups and downs in history, today’s bread, or Vietnamese sandwich as it is usually called, has become a special Vietnamese food.

Fillings

The main ingredients for making Vietnamese sandwich are sausages, meatballs, roasted pork, liver pate, stewed minced meat, etc. There are also eggs, fish, shredded chicken, ham, or butter, etc. A delicious sandwich consists of not only meat, but also thinly sliced ​​cucumbers, pickles, coriander, onions, scallions, fragrant basil, etc., and especially an indispensable sauce to bring up the famous delicious taste. The sauce is a mixture of soy sauce, salt, pepper, fish sauce, soup powder, mayonnaise, and even chili sauce. Traveling around the three regions of Vietnam, you will see that the Vietnamese sandwich in each region has its own unique flavor, but they are all delicious and well-loved by many people.

For a long time, Banh Mi has become a favourite food of Vietnamese people. 

2. How much is a loaf of bread in Vietnam?

Which meal do Vietnamese people have Banh Mi for?

Banh Mi is considered a popular fast food and is usually eaten for breakfast or any other meal of the day. Thanks to its reasonable price and widespread popularity, Vietnamese sandwich has become a favorite dish of many people.

The average price of a loaf of Banh Mi

Usually, a Vietnamese sandwich is sold for 15,000-35,000 VND (around 1.2$), which is considered the most common price. For famous and long-standing bakeries, the price can be up to 50,000-70,000 VND (around 2.4$) thanks to their delicious tastes, special sauces, and quality ingredients. These shops may use high-quality ingredients such as foie gras pate, sausages, boneless pork rolls, smoked meat, etc.

This Vietnamese sandwich, with 6 layers of fillings, is sold for 58,000 VND (around 2.3$)

3. The 5 most popular Vietnamese sandwich types

Depending on the fillings, Vietnamese sandwiches may have different names. Below are the 5 most popular types of Vietnamese sandwich.

3.1. Omelet bread

Omelet sandwich is a traditional Vietnamese sandwich variation, with eggs as the main ingredient. The eggs can replace meat as fillings or they can be used alongside meat such as pork sausages or slices of roasted pork belly. The eggs can be scrambled or made into an omelet, served with pickles, soy sauce, chili sauce, etc. Due to its simple preparation, this variation can be found at almost every food vendor.

Omelet bread is a simple yet very appetizing dish.

3.2. Chicken bread

Chicken bread is a traditional Vietnamese sandwich made with grilled chicken slices as the main ingredient. A loaf of chicken bread is typically smeared with liver pate and mayonnaise. Then it is stuffed with shredded grilled chicken and topped with pickled daikon and carrots, sliced chili peppers, coriander,  slices of cucumber, and a little soy sauce. You can add a finishing touch with a dash of freshly ground black pepper, if preferred.

This type of Vietnamese sandwich is popular throughout Vietnam.

3.3. Grilled pork bread

This popular Vietnamese sandwich is widely available in most Vietnamese restaurants and sandwich vendors. Choices of meat can be pork belly, pork shoulder, pork chops, or pork butt. Preparation of the meat can be steaming, pan-frying, or grilling, which is the most popular. In addition to the grilled meat, cucumber, tomato, pickles, and a rich sauce help bring a unique flavor for this variation of bread that is both delicious and nutritious.

Grilled pork sandwich is frequently purchased from street food vendors.

3.4. Juicy crushed pork meatball bread

This is a traditional Vietnamese sandwich made of ground pork meatballs as the main ingredient. The meatballs are typically made from a combination of ground pork, corn starch, fish sauce, garlic, black pepper, scallion, and jicama. Juicy crushed pork meatball bread is typically topped with coriander, pickled daikon, carrots, and chili peppers, if desired.

This variation of Vietnamese sandwich pleases both the taste buds and the eyes.

3.5. Shredded pork rind bread

This flavorful and aromatic dish is made of thinly sliced pork rinds and marinated pork, tossed with roasted rice powder and fried garlic. This Vietnamese sandwich often has many other delectable fillings such as egg meatloaf, grilled lemongrass pork chops, and egg rolls. To make it an even more awesome combination, vendors also add scallion oil, fresh herbs, cucumber, tomato, carrot, pickled radish, and fish sauce.

Pork rinds add a very unique flavor to the Vietnamese sandwich.

4. Where to buy Vietnamese sandwich on your trip?

Every region of Vietnam has its own special variation of the sandwich sold at street vendors and eateries, from Da Nang, Nha Trang, to Phu Quoc, etc. You can also find many well-known long-standing banh mi brands in Hanoi, Hoi An, Ho Chi Minh City.

Hanoi

The traditional Hanoi bread only consists of a little butter, liver pate, potentially shrimp, ham, char siu, a few slices of pork, and thinly sliced ​​spring rolls. Accompanying vegetables are usually only coriander and cucumber, while the sauce used will be the traditional ground chili sauce that is often used with pho (a kind of Vietnamese noodles).

Some famous places selling bread in Hanoi include Banh mi Pho Co, Banh mi Ba Dan, or Banh mi Nguyen Sinh.

Banh mi Pho Co – an irresistible delicious bread shop in Hanoi.